So I'm setting here, Jackie just left a bit ago for her training and I'll have 3 days by myself. No kids, no wife, just myself. So I thought it might be a good time to reflect a bit on what Sexuary meant to me. I'm sure when Jackie gets back she'll put in her two cents worth too.
Let me start by saying this is year three for Jackie and I to 'celebrate' Sexuary. The first year we wanted to try to have sex 7 straight days. It didn't happen. Then came last year. We were in a better place, but 7 days in a row was a lot to ask still, so we went for every other day on even days. While we didn't exactly succeed we did much better, though by the end we were really struggling. I really mean it was a struggle for us to have sex one more time. ugghhhh
You know we've done a lot of soul searching and working in our marriage over the last 3 or 4 years. We've a lot learned about each other and what makes the other one tick. We've learned to compromise, though as you've read this month we still struggle through some every day issues in communicating those compromises. We have really focused on being better individuals so that we can be a better couple. And we've made time for ourselves as a couple regardless of what 'disaster of the moment' is going on outside of our bedroom door.
I know that sex does not resonate near as high on the 'got to have it' scale for Jackie as it does on mine. Yet I also know that she can get just as excited about it as I can be once we're there. It's getting her out of her head and the other things going on to get her there that is the issue. She's come a long way working on that over the last 3 years. She now realizes how important it is to me to be that intimate with her and has gone out of her way, even when I'm being an ass, to make sure I get that time with her. I know she has to struggle sometimes over that, hell I would.
Jackie says all she ever has to do to get me in the mood is take off her shirt and I'm ready. Makes it difficult at night where we're getting ready for bed, cause I really do find my wife that attractive and that fun to be around. Her kisses will set me off. Her caress will definitely excite me. And just the site of her in the shower gets me excited. She's hot and sexy and she's mine and I love it.
So this year we decided to try a 28 day trek. Not an easy task. We know the Moers and know they had struggles last year with their 31 days. Days they'd of preferred hall sex (you know as you pass each other in the hall you say "fuck you") then to have bedroom sex. And these are people we look up to and respect, so how mere mortals like ourselves going to stand a chance to succeed?
So back in November, yes 3 months before Sexuary started, we started talking about this all. It wasn't all pretty. My 'box' of what I'm willing to try is huge compared to the average person. Basically if I haven't tried it and dislike it I'm willing to try it. Don't know if I'll like it, but I'll try it. And there are things I'll try just because the other person I'm with wants to try. VERY few hard limits. Jackies box is more of a 'normal' box. Don't get me wrong, she tried a lot of things this month not in her box, but I know she struggled with several of them, but if it weren't for me pushing her to push herself some she'd fit into her box and be pretty happy with it. So November to January were lots of discussions on what would and would not be acceptable. We created list. We talked about those list. We modified list. We talked more. We talked more. And then we talked more.
Finally in January we got 'The Calendar' that we've posted. Now this was a major change to Sexuaries of the past. In the past we've alternated who was in charge of making the day special. If the day was a bad day then sex might of been mundane at best. This would have a who was in charge, but most of the pre-planning was already done, so even in a bad day everything was there to complete the task and you knew what we were doing. I personally think this calendar was what made this year so successful for us. It took a lot of pressure off of us on a daily basis. Meant even on a crappy day we knew what was going to happen and that we had the supplies already in our bedroom. I'm sure glad our kids don't come in our bedroom. If they ever looked in our 'drawers of toys' they'd die of embarrassment. And if they saw everything we put in there for this month I'm not sure they'd ever look us in the eyes again.
So as you've read, we made it through the month. Not all days were 'successful' in their goal of enjoying something new, but they were all successful in bringing Jackie and I together. Even during the struggles of a massive yeast infection we were able to work through things and have a great time together. Words like compromise and understanding come to mind after those days. The couple swap day that didn't go anything like we expected. The spanking and Dom/sub that when over like lead balloons. We HAD to talk through those to get past them.
But there were other days that we were flying high after our sexual encounter for the day. Sensation, fisting, piercings, and others were high on our list and will go on our 'must try again' list. Jackie really wants a piercing or two. I knew she'd want another tattoo. We're working on fisting her. Now that we've tried she knows how exciting that can be. So her 'box' got bigger this month.
I know there are all kinds of scientific studies that show that after sex couples release chemicals that bring them closer. Well imagine how close you'd get after 28 days of sex. And while we had one couple of friends tell us they didn't understand just going for 28 straight days, they understood it when we explained that it wasn't about the act of sex, it was about EVERYTHING that comes with it. The pillow talking that gets started again. The wanting to be with your partner. The desire to make them as happy as you've been. The open communications. The flattery. The kissing. The simple "I love you" text for no reason other than they came to your mind for that moment during your busy day. For 28 days I didn't have to do anything and I knew I was going to get sex, and yet I was more than happy to help more around the house because I KNEW I didn't have to do anything to get sex.
I remember a self help study a couple of years ago that was popular. In it the goal was to strengthen your marriage. One of the first things it said was someone has to cross the lines in the sand that you 2 have drawn so that the entire fence can come down. Sexuary is all about that. We crossed LOTS of lines this month. Many sections of fence came tumbling down. And WE are a better couple because of it.
This year we went 17 straight days of sex with no breaks and 26 out of 28 days we had sex. That shattered our previous 7 days in a row of sex and 16 days in a month. Shattered them. And on the 2 other days it didn't mean that we didn't snuggle and caress, it was just intimate non sexual days. So all in all 28 straight days. How can that be bad for any relationship?
So what did Sexuary mean to me? It means I fully appreciate my wife for all she does for me. It means I still get excited when I see her. It means that I've had 28 days to show her how much I appreciate all she does for me. It means we've spent 28 nights, laying in our bed talking about sex, life, kids, sex, and anything else that popped up (did I mention sex?) until we drifted to sleep. It meant we rekindled our love for each other. We made ourselves the priority this month.
I know there is no way to keep the every day pace up. I'm almost 50 and damn proud of getting 28 days in. But seriously that pace while great is not sustainable without itself becoming mundane. But it can be a treat once a year for Sexuary. And I truly believe that the other 337 days of the year will be much closer and better for us because of this exercise during Sexuary.
We don't expect everyone is where we are as a couple. But understand we weren't always here either. There were times we fought about sex. Times we definitely weren't talking. Times I wasn't sure this marriage was going to last, no matter how much we wanted it to. Times were intimacy, communications, and sex were not in our couples vocabulary. And we've gone from that to a month of it. So I don't care if it's been 3 months since the last time you were intimate with your partner or 3 days, there is hope, I know because we're proof. But someone has to take that first step. Something has to change. Priorities to your relationships have to change. And honestly it's not easy. But the rewards are great.
So on this, the last official day of Sexuary 2013 I have a challenge to you. If you haven't done anything this month that is out of your box do it. Call your partner and tell them you love them and hang up...that's it nothing else. Or meet them at the door naked. Or if the kids are an issue, after they are in bed go put on something that makes you feel as sexy as he thinks you are and be waiting on the bed for him. Text him to come find you. Send her flowers just because you love her. Wash the dishes tonight or help dry them. Instead of rolling over in bed roll into bed and wrap your arm around your loved one. Get it? DO SOMETHING!
And heaven forbid you let today go by with nothing happening this Sexuary...don't wait another 11 months for Sexuary to come back around....take tomorrow and start your own Sexuary! Sexuary is a state of mind. It's a matter of making a difference in your relationship.
It's part of the reason this blog isn't over with. Oh the intensity of it will definitely die down some. But we still have a list of fetishes we haven't tried. We have another list of 'OMG we have to do that again' fetishes. We have some that were borderline we have to go decide which side of the fence will they fall on. And who knows as we grow we might go revisit some of those we weren't ready for the first time. So keep following.
You want to help us out some? Let us know if any blog post made a difference for you. Email or comment. We've allowed anonymous comments so you can be honest with us. Let us know that you've done SOMETHING for Sexuary, especially if something you read here pushed you over the edge to make the difference. Let us know if something you read got you so hot and bothered you had to go and surprise your partner. Just let us know, it really is a turn on to us to hear from others that are in our boat of wanting to make their relationships better.
Happy Sexuary to all...and we're already looking forward to 2014!
Dane
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
TENS, Electricity
This was saved for last because we don't know the repercussions and I wanted time to recuperate. I would like you to use the electricity/TENS on me. Maybe we can find an anal probe, or see how they use it on a cock and nipples. I will leave it up to you if you'd like to try the same thing that day or save it for another day. This will be our last official day of Fetish Sexuary, so along with the electric you have free reign for ANYTHING you'd like to try on me.
So Jackie has this TENS unit from when she hurt her shoulder years ago. We've kept it around, lost it, found it, lost part of it, found it, lost it, found it...you get the drift. But I know that electricity can be a huge turn on for some, and very orgasmic for others.
Being a bit of a country boy I know that to get the seed from a bull, you stick an anal probe in and turn it on, and seaman will come flowing out. I'd never seen it done on a guy before Sexuary, So wasn't sure how it would work. But we were willing to try it.
We even watched a couple of videos where a guy came using a TENS unit and a girl went orgasmic with one. They were pretty hot and Jackie and I had a great round of sex after watching those videos.
So we break out the unit and Jackie decides to go first. Now anyone who knows Jackie knows she's not the overly adventurous type and it really surprised me she went first. So we put 1 set of pads on her and started it up. At first there wasn't much you could tell or see. She could feel it, but it wasn't all there. So we put a second set of pads on, further south, and bingo she started to vibrate a bit more. I could see her clit start to appear and her lips were definitely swelling.
She played with the controls till she got where she wanted and then closed her eyes and let it flow. I could see her react much the same as if I had her favorite vibrator on and was waiting for her to gush any second.
When she'd shuttered enough she cut the controls and just tried to catch her breath. I reached in and she was definitely wet. Not drenched as she can get but wet. She said it was not the most monumental but definitely orgasmed a couple of times.
Then was my turn. We started with one set of pads and turned it on. At first I didn't think it was working, then I hit level 4....5....6...7...OMG every time I went up a level it was like someone squeezed the head of my cock a bit tighter. But it wasn't going to make me cum. So we added a second set of pads. I could barely feel them even though I was all the way up to max on those (60) and about a 30 on the one attached to my head. But still no real, going over the top sensation.
So Jackie moved the pads around. This time I was feeling it all over. From the bottom of my sac to the top of my cock I could feel it vibrating. It pretty quickly took me to the edge. That feeling you get right before you cum. I had both controls at max setting of 60. It was right there....I waited...I could feel the urge.....it was sooooooooooo close.........but after a few minutes it just wasn't going to cum.
We finished me off quickly. I'll try it again. It wasn't painful at all. It was uncomfortable at times, and I'm sitting here tingling still an hour later, so not sure how long that will last. I enjoyed watching Jackie get off and liked the feeling, just couldn't get that release I needed with it.
Today was day 28 for us. Jackie has to leave at 5:30 in the morning for some training so we started 1/31 instead so we could get our 28 days in. I'll follow up with another post on a wrap up. Additionally we'll be going back and trying the fetishes we had to forgo for one reason or another and we'll post our adventures there. So while Sexuary is officially over with for us (ok, we still have pillow talk tonight but the sex is over unless Jackie is going to be overly generous and surprise me), we'll be updating our blog here and there as we live out Sexuary in our day to day lives. Follow along. Leave us a comment. Tell us if there was something you tried because we brought it up. Tell us you did something this Sexuary that made a difference in your relationship,because bottom line that's what this exercise was all about.
Dane
TENS/Electricity...the thought was scary, yet exciting at the same time. Something you are told not to play with yet really want to...well this is the safest way to play with it without getting totally fried.
We watched a few videos, have looking at 100's of toys. Wondering all the what if questions. I knew I already had a TENS unit a medical grade one, so we didnt want to go and buy one. However when the month started I wasnt sure where it was. We hunted for several days until finding the box that it was still packed in. So we got it out and left it alone. Scared to let the lion out of that cage. Well until today, I had an appointment out of town this morning, so I was on my drive home when I was thinking about it, it got me stirring, did I want to go first? Or should he? I decided to go first in case I needed time to rest and get myself under control. We started with 2 pads, and I had them turned up to 40 and while I could certainly feel it, it wasn't taking me to the place I wanted to go. So we added another 2 pads. Now this took me where I wanted it go. Looking back I probably could have taken it higher however I knew I would be gone until Saturday at a conference in which I could not be uncomfortable in(if ya know what I mean) so after it got intense, I laid back and let it do what it was supposed to do, and it did. While I didn't squirt like I am known to, it did take me into a multi-level orgasim that I could feel from my neck to my toes. It also went into my "we ARE going to do this again" list! I think practice is needed to get the best orgasim, so will try again!
Next was Dane, I helped get his pads on, one set at a time, he leaked a good round or two of pre cum but never really had a mind boggleing shoot cum all over. I think for him we will need to try again too, you have to get the pads in the right place or they do nothing and we were quickly running out of time before the kids got home from school. Even though he didn't finish with the TENS until he did finish, and it was pretty intense.
Did I mention this is going on my "do this again" list...There are several things on there from this month. I can't believe this was the last day, we made it...while we had 2 days that not much if anything happened, I am still calling it 28 days!! WE nailed our list, and nailed each other ;) WE talked and talked and talked...well you get the picture. We discovered new things, old things, things we liked and things we didn't, but we did it.
I am doing a happy dance...happy dance....loud music(even if its just in my head) we did it...(insert Dora"WE did it, WE did it..." song here) lol
Keep following though, we aren't finished. We are going to keep blogging and keep doing....We will go back to our every 3 days calender(which was another Sexuary goal) and I will go into that at another time. We will keep communicating and keep smiling, and I will get a jersey or tshirt with "28"on it and not care whose name it is, but I will know what "28" is about...
Jackie
So Jackie has this TENS unit from when she hurt her shoulder years ago. We've kept it around, lost it, found it, lost part of it, found it, lost it, found it...you get the drift. But I know that electricity can be a huge turn on for some, and very orgasmic for others.
Being a bit of a country boy I know that to get the seed from a bull, you stick an anal probe in and turn it on, and seaman will come flowing out. I'd never seen it done on a guy before Sexuary, So wasn't sure how it would work. But we were willing to try it.
We even watched a couple of videos where a guy came using a TENS unit and a girl went orgasmic with one. They were pretty hot and Jackie and I had a great round of sex after watching those videos.
So we break out the unit and Jackie decides to go first. Now anyone who knows Jackie knows she's not the overly adventurous type and it really surprised me she went first. So we put 1 set of pads on her and started it up. At first there wasn't much you could tell or see. She could feel it, but it wasn't all there. So we put a second set of pads on, further south, and bingo she started to vibrate a bit more. I could see her clit start to appear and her lips were definitely swelling.
She played with the controls till she got where she wanted and then closed her eyes and let it flow. I could see her react much the same as if I had her favorite vibrator on and was waiting for her to gush any second.
When she'd shuttered enough she cut the controls and just tried to catch her breath. I reached in and she was definitely wet. Not drenched as she can get but wet. She said it was not the most monumental but definitely orgasmed a couple of times.
Then was my turn. We started with one set of pads and turned it on. At first I didn't think it was working, then I hit level 4....5....6...7...OMG every time I went up a level it was like someone squeezed the head of my cock a bit tighter. But it wasn't going to make me cum. So we added a second set of pads. I could barely feel them even though I was all the way up to max on those (60) and about a 30 on the one attached to my head. But still no real, going over the top sensation.
So Jackie moved the pads around. This time I was feeling it all over. From the bottom of my sac to the top of my cock I could feel it vibrating. It pretty quickly took me to the edge. That feeling you get right before you cum. I had both controls at max setting of 60. It was right there....I waited...I could feel the urge.....it was sooooooooooo close.........but after a few minutes it just wasn't going to cum.
We finished me off quickly. I'll try it again. It wasn't painful at all. It was uncomfortable at times, and I'm sitting here tingling still an hour later, so not sure how long that will last. I enjoyed watching Jackie get off and liked the feeling, just couldn't get that release I needed with it.
Today was day 28 for us. Jackie has to leave at 5:30 in the morning for some training so we started 1/31 instead so we could get our 28 days in. I'll follow up with another post on a wrap up. Additionally we'll be going back and trying the fetishes we had to forgo for one reason or another and we'll post our adventures there. So while Sexuary is officially over with for us (ok, we still have pillow talk tonight but the sex is over unless Jackie is going to be overly generous and surprise me), we'll be updating our blog here and there as we live out Sexuary in our day to day lives. Follow along. Leave us a comment. Tell us if there was something you tried because we brought it up. Tell us you did something this Sexuary that made a difference in your relationship,because bottom line that's what this exercise was all about.
Dane
TENS/Electricity...the thought was scary, yet exciting at the same time. Something you are told not to play with yet really want to...well this is the safest way to play with it without getting totally fried.
We watched a few videos, have looking at 100's of toys. Wondering all the what if questions. I knew I already had a TENS unit a medical grade one, so we didnt want to go and buy one. However when the month started I wasnt sure where it was. We hunted for several days until finding the box that it was still packed in. So we got it out and left it alone. Scared to let the lion out of that cage. Well until today, I had an appointment out of town this morning, so I was on my drive home when I was thinking about it, it got me stirring, did I want to go first? Or should he? I decided to go first in case I needed time to rest and get myself under control. We started with 2 pads, and I had them turned up to 40 and while I could certainly feel it, it wasn't taking me to the place I wanted to go. So we added another 2 pads. Now this took me where I wanted it go. Looking back I probably could have taken it higher however I knew I would be gone until Saturday at a conference in which I could not be uncomfortable in(if ya know what I mean) so after it got intense, I laid back and let it do what it was supposed to do, and it did. While I didn't squirt like I am known to, it did take me into a multi-level orgasim that I could feel from my neck to my toes. It also went into my "we ARE going to do this again" list! I think practice is needed to get the best orgasim, so will try again!
Next was Dane, I helped get his pads on, one set at a time, he leaked a good round or two of pre cum but never really had a mind boggleing shoot cum all over. I think for him we will need to try again too, you have to get the pads in the right place or they do nothing and we were quickly running out of time before the kids got home from school. Even though he didn't finish with the TENS until he did finish, and it was pretty intense.
Did I mention this is going on my "do this again" list...There are several things on there from this month. I can't believe this was the last day, we made it...while we had 2 days that not much if anything happened, I am still calling it 28 days!! WE nailed our list, and nailed each other ;) WE talked and talked and talked...well you get the picture. We discovered new things, old things, things we liked and things we didn't, but we did it.
I am doing a happy dance...happy dance....loud music(even if its just in my head) we did it...(insert Dora"WE did it, WE did it..." song here) lol
Keep following though, we aren't finished. We are going to keep blogging and keep doing....We will go back to our every 3 days calender(which was another Sexuary goal) and I will go into that at another time. We will keep communicating and keep smiling, and I will get a jersey or tshirt with "28"on it and not care whose name it is, but I will know what "28" is about...
Jackie
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Blindfild, ropes, stretching, clothes pins and …. (on Dane)
Strap Dane down and blind fold him. You have total control from there, and I’m not sure how I'll handle stretching my ball sack, but let's try it…use cloths pins on me, or other devices. Hot oils might be appropriate here too.
This was to be the next best thing to a Dom/sub day. I'm not sure why this is ok, but the other isn't but Jackie is better when we don't call it Dom/sub.
So she took me upstairs, and blindfolded me. Then took me into our room where she Velcro'd me to our bed (we have a sheet and cuffs we caught on clearance at Megaplexx). No I can pull on these and not come undone, and yet if I needed to I could pull the corner of the Velcro up and get out. After that she started with sensations.
A soft piece of material we got. I thought it smart of her to always hold my cock with it while she rubbed me with it over the rest of my body.
A whip came next. She's getting better with that new whip, and she used it off and on through the session. I definitely pulled on the straps a couple of times as she did our first CBT ever. Not something I'm generally into, but she did a good job of not 'crushing my sack' and that's the one thing I am more sensitive too. It stung, but in a good way.
A boa did ok, but wasn't as soft as the material.
Some ice. I was expecting her to put some in her mouth and suck me some but the drizzles an her running on my cock was a nice sensation, though I could of use more I think to make it almost uncomfortable. Not sure if that makes sense or not.
She used some clothes pins to pull my sack. It was an interesting sensation. I couldn't tell exactly how many or exactly where they were. And with exception of one pulling and twisting when she went to rub up on me, it felt pretty good. The one though caught her and actually went to real pain for a second.
A candle dripping on my chest. Later I asked why she didn't do my nipples or pelvic area and she was afraid of burning me.
Some sucking, some rubbing her body of me and having my knee in her crotch (what little I could move) as she humped my leg some.
More whipping.
Finally she removed the clothes pins which let the blood flow back and was a sensation in itself and took my breath away for a second. The she unstrapped me and we finished up with me attempting to fist her again (OMG that really is pretty hot) and then both of us finishing up.
WHEW!!!
That was a lot of sensations in a short amount of time. It was pretty hot to give up control like that. It was also pretty hot to have her tie me up and use the whips and pins on me. I like it when on occasion she becomes the aggressor and takes charge. It's different and very hot to me. I think it's just so out of our norm that it really is a fetish.
Dane
Today was my day to tie down Dane, I really wanted him to experience what I had on my day. I was nervous about it. It is as close to sub/dom without it being sub/dom. I don't like barking orders and I don't like taking orders. I knew that today was my day to take control and I could do whatever I wanted to Dane. I also know that he has a much bigger box on pain, and excitement. That I am sure I would not get to the point of him saying his safe word. It take a lot more that I can do to push him.
So I asked him to meet me at the top of the stairs where I took his glasses gave him his blind fold, undressed him and then put the Velcro cuffs around his wrist and ankles. I then led him into the bedroom and centered him on the bed. I had preplanned all I wanted to do, textures, that were contrasting, soft to hard, cold to hot...you get the idea...
I started with my favorite piece of material, its super soft, I rubbed it on his chest, his legs, his cock, etc. I stroked him with it...its an amazing feeling! I then went to a whip, then a feather boa, then ice, then wax, the clothes pens, then more rubbing.
I think it was a very enjoyable day for both of us. We were able to end with both having great orgasms and a very enjoyable afternoon.
Its hard to believe we have ONE day left! wow what a month!
See you tomorrow
Jackie
This was to be the next best thing to a Dom/sub day. I'm not sure why this is ok, but the other isn't but Jackie is better when we don't call it Dom/sub.
So she took me upstairs, and blindfolded me. Then took me into our room where she Velcro'd me to our bed (we have a sheet and cuffs we caught on clearance at Megaplexx). No I can pull on these and not come undone, and yet if I needed to I could pull the corner of the Velcro up and get out. After that she started with sensations.
A soft piece of material we got. I thought it smart of her to always hold my cock with it while she rubbed me with it over the rest of my body.
A whip came next. She's getting better with that new whip, and she used it off and on through the session. I definitely pulled on the straps a couple of times as she did our first CBT ever. Not something I'm generally into, but she did a good job of not 'crushing my sack' and that's the one thing I am more sensitive too. It stung, but in a good way.
A boa did ok, but wasn't as soft as the material.
Some ice. I was expecting her to put some in her mouth and suck me some but the drizzles an her running on my cock was a nice sensation, though I could of use more I think to make it almost uncomfortable. Not sure if that makes sense or not.
She used some clothes pins to pull my sack. It was an interesting sensation. I couldn't tell exactly how many or exactly where they were. And with exception of one pulling and twisting when she went to rub up on me, it felt pretty good. The one though caught her and actually went to real pain for a second.
A candle dripping on my chest. Later I asked why she didn't do my nipples or pelvic area and she was afraid of burning me.
Some sucking, some rubbing her body of me and having my knee in her crotch (what little I could move) as she humped my leg some.
More whipping.
Finally she removed the clothes pins which let the blood flow back and was a sensation in itself and took my breath away for a second. The she unstrapped me and we finished up with me attempting to fist her again (OMG that really is pretty hot) and then both of us finishing up.
WHEW!!!
That was a lot of sensations in a short amount of time. It was pretty hot to give up control like that. It was also pretty hot to have her tie me up and use the whips and pins on me. I like it when on occasion she becomes the aggressor and takes charge. It's different and very hot to me. I think it's just so out of our norm that it really is a fetish.
Dane
Today was my day to tie down Dane, I really wanted him to experience what I had on my day. I was nervous about it. It is as close to sub/dom without it being sub/dom. I don't like barking orders and I don't like taking orders. I knew that today was my day to take control and I could do whatever I wanted to Dane. I also know that he has a much bigger box on pain, and excitement. That I am sure I would not get to the point of him saying his safe word. It take a lot more that I can do to push him.
So I asked him to meet me at the top of the stairs where I took his glasses gave him his blind fold, undressed him and then put the Velcro cuffs around his wrist and ankles. I then led him into the bedroom and centered him on the bed. I had preplanned all I wanted to do, textures, that were contrasting, soft to hard, cold to hot...you get the idea...
I started with my favorite piece of material, its super soft, I rubbed it on his chest, his legs, his cock, etc. I stroked him with it...its an amazing feeling! I then went to a whip, then a feather boa, then ice, then wax, the clothes pens, then more rubbing.
I think it was a very enjoyable day for both of us. We were able to end with both having great orgasms and a very enjoyable afternoon.
Its hard to believe we have ONE day left! wow what a month!
See you tomorrow
Jackie
Fisting Jackie
This is the one attempt we'll do at fisting you. I'd like to work you up in both your pussy and your ass depending on how things go. It will be a long process, lots of rubbing, lots and lots of lube and lots of patience. You will need to let me know if not ok while doing it, and as always safewords will apply.
So this was towards the end of the month in case we ran into any problems. Now I finger Jackie all the time as a matter of foreplay. Somewhere along the way she didn't care for it as much as when we first started going out. She's been through several 'woman' issues over the 10 years we've been together and I've just assumed that those issues caused her to feel differently down there. So while I'll go 1, maybe 2 fingers that's about the limit I'll attempt. So to fist her would be a huge step up.
I know how excited both of us were when we finally got a fist in me. And I would be a first for us to get one in Jackie. Now honestly I wasn't expecting much. Maybe 4 fingers tops. She's very tight and can clamp down like a vice grip in a heart beat, expelling any and everything trying to get in there. But we wanted to try in this month of fetishes to fist her too.
She was very nervous to start. I wasn't (and still not) sure why. It's not like we haven't played around like that before and she knows she can stop at any moment. You have to have the trust that your partner will stop if you tell them too.
So we started and after a bit of caressing I started to finger her...we got all 5 fingers in but the knuckles wouldn't make it in. It was pretty hot though to see all 5 fingers in her at once. I think we used a 1/2 a bottle of lube getting there, and plenty of time, but we definitely hit our limit for the night. So I spun around and finished us both off.
Now Jackie thought she felt loose. I definitely didn't feel it that way. I felt a lot of lubricant that we don't usually use. I was definitely sliding with no problems. But she felt her normal tightness, and honestly between the excitement of the moment and the tightness I didn't last long (pretty unusual for me). I think there is a mental thing that you think you'll be loose because you stretched out, but I'm here to tell you your body will spring right back....and sometimes even tighter than before. Pretty amazing from where I was.
So we're down to 2 more days left. I can't believe Sexuary is cuming to an end so soon. I'll have to ask Christine Moers at www.welcometomybrain.net who introduced us to Sexuary if she might extend it for....oh....11 more months? Seriously ups and downs we go through every day, month and year. But this month has been amazing for Jackie and I. We've learned a lot about ourselves and each other this month, and I hate that it will end.
Dane
I once again was super nervous. I mean super nervous! I mean was he going to just try to stick his fist in? Was he going to play with me and do that at the same time? Was it going to hurt, I know its hard birthing a kid, I cant imagine what its going to feel like trying to go back in.
At first he just started with a finger or two and that just wasn't doing to for me, I asked him to get a toy to help stimulate me. That helped. I really was a distraction to what was going on down there, it helped. I couldn't decide if it was good, bad or indifferent. I did get exciting for me as I could hear him getting excited in his breathing, and signs and little groans.
I even asked him at one point to just sit still and not push. It did get a point that it burned and there was just NO way it was going in. I just couldn't handle it anymore. The burning was just too much. I am not sure if the burning is from lube, his hand or if I still have a bit of the yeast infection going on. Not sure but I just knew it was burning. So he removed his hand, and quickly moved up so we could both finish. He blew very quickly! I can't tell you the last time he blew so fast! So I guess it was super exciting for him!
We talked about what it felt like, I swear I was stretched to the max and that's why I couldn't feel him penetrate. He swore nothing had changed except for the amount of lube that was in there. We talked if it was something I wanted to try again! I told him if its anything like watching a fist go into his ass, I know it was a huge turn on. That we could continue to try. Who knows when we will have success.
Can you believe its been 26 days already! We are almost done! I think that might be my crappy attitude. I am not normally one to enjoy sex, and usually its pulling teeth on our "3 day commitment" we have already. But this month has been great. Even if my boobs are super sore! and Not to mention my pussy is too! While it was made for sex and birthing babies, its not made for the 26 day pounding it has gotten this month! Its ready for a few day break!
How is your month coming? Did you make your goals? We have had some great times and some not so great times but we are still moving along...WE are getting close to the end...But we aren't done yet...
Jackie
So this was towards the end of the month in case we ran into any problems. Now I finger Jackie all the time as a matter of foreplay. Somewhere along the way she didn't care for it as much as when we first started going out. She's been through several 'woman' issues over the 10 years we've been together and I've just assumed that those issues caused her to feel differently down there. So while I'll go 1, maybe 2 fingers that's about the limit I'll attempt. So to fist her would be a huge step up.
I know how excited both of us were when we finally got a fist in me. And I would be a first for us to get one in Jackie. Now honestly I wasn't expecting much. Maybe 4 fingers tops. She's very tight and can clamp down like a vice grip in a heart beat, expelling any and everything trying to get in there. But we wanted to try in this month of fetishes to fist her too.
She was very nervous to start. I wasn't (and still not) sure why. It's not like we haven't played around like that before and she knows she can stop at any moment. You have to have the trust that your partner will stop if you tell them too.
So we started and after a bit of caressing I started to finger her...we got all 5 fingers in but the knuckles wouldn't make it in. It was pretty hot though to see all 5 fingers in her at once. I think we used a 1/2 a bottle of lube getting there, and plenty of time, but we definitely hit our limit for the night. So I spun around and finished us both off.
Now Jackie thought she felt loose. I definitely didn't feel it that way. I felt a lot of lubricant that we don't usually use. I was definitely sliding with no problems. But she felt her normal tightness, and honestly between the excitement of the moment and the tightness I didn't last long (pretty unusual for me). I think there is a mental thing that you think you'll be loose because you stretched out, but I'm here to tell you your body will spring right back....and sometimes even tighter than before. Pretty amazing from where I was.
So we're down to 2 more days left. I can't believe Sexuary is cuming to an end so soon. I'll have to ask Christine Moers at www.welcometomybrain.net who introduced us to Sexuary if she might extend it for....oh....11 more months? Seriously ups and downs we go through every day, month and year. But this month has been amazing for Jackie and I. We've learned a lot about ourselves and each other this month, and I hate that it will end.
Dane
I once again was super nervous. I mean super nervous! I mean was he going to just try to stick his fist in? Was he going to play with me and do that at the same time? Was it going to hurt, I know its hard birthing a kid, I cant imagine what its going to feel like trying to go back in.
At first he just started with a finger or two and that just wasn't doing to for me, I asked him to get a toy to help stimulate me. That helped. I really was a distraction to what was going on down there, it helped. I couldn't decide if it was good, bad or indifferent. I did get exciting for me as I could hear him getting excited in his breathing, and signs and little groans.
I even asked him at one point to just sit still and not push. It did get a point that it burned and there was just NO way it was going in. I just couldn't handle it anymore. The burning was just too much. I am not sure if the burning is from lube, his hand or if I still have a bit of the yeast infection going on. Not sure but I just knew it was burning. So he removed his hand, and quickly moved up so we could both finish. He blew very quickly! I can't tell you the last time he blew so fast! So I guess it was super exciting for him!
We talked about what it felt like, I swear I was stretched to the max and that's why I couldn't feel him penetrate. He swore nothing had changed except for the amount of lube that was in there. We talked if it was something I wanted to try again! I told him if its anything like watching a fist go into his ass, I know it was a huge turn on. That we could continue to try. Who knows when we will have success.
Can you believe its been 26 days already! We are almost done! I think that might be my crappy attitude. I am not normally one to enjoy sex, and usually its pulling teeth on our "3 day commitment" we have already. But this month has been great. Even if my boobs are super sore! and Not to mention my pussy is too! While it was made for sex and birthing babies, its not made for the 26 day pounding it has gotten this month! Its ready for a few day break!
How is your month coming? Did you make your goals? We have had some great times and some not so great times but we are still moving along...WE are getting close to the end...But we aren't done yet...
Jackie
Grumpy Day
So today was on the calendar to be a strap me down and blind fold me day and then I would take what ever comes. But apparently I'm a bit loud sometimes when we have days like this so we decided to move it to later in the week and we'd just bring back an oldie but goodie or something we had to skip earlier in the month for one reason or another.
But 2 AM happened. I woke up frustrated and a serious case of the "I didn't get any last nights" (read previous post for more details). I went downstairs about 2:30. Now what I should of done is just masturbated and held that thought till the next day. But I've really avoided that this month. Trying to go 28 straight days I don't have a lot of extra umpff to recover. So instead I tried to distract myself with some tv and computer till 6:45 when I was finally settled down enough to go back to sleep, only for us to get up at 7:30. So when I did get moving it was on very little sleep and no energy.
Now I tried. Really I did. All day I tried to get myself in the program and cheerful. I failed miserably. We went to a fair and I should of gone and slept in the car for a couple of hours and come back with a different attitude, but instead I struggled all day. I couldn't get out of the grumpies. UGHHH!
Now if ever there was a way to woo your sweetheart, being in a grumpy mood all day is NOT it. I did apologize at some point. I knew I was tired and like a 2 year old that missed his midday nap just grumpy.
When we got home I tried to take some short naps in between the boys running in and out, but it wasn't enough. To Jackies credit she IM'd me and said let's go upstairs and I'll give you a blow job and we'll go from there. She could of said, "you've been grumpy all day and I don't want to do anything". I wouldn't of blamed her. But she put me in a better mood and I slept like a log all night long. What a great wife to know and conquer the "tireds and grumpies". She went and disregarded the entire day to try to end it on a good note. I'm not sure everyone would of reached across with an olive branch after the day I had. But in the end it was the start to the end of the grumpies. I was able to get a good nights sleep with no more complaints from the little head who didn't want to listen the night before. I really wish the 2 heads would talk more some times.
So there was our day in a nut shell, but we worked through it, we talked at night like we've been doing all of Sexuary. I told her I wasn't mad at all, but that didn't just flip the switch to my pecker, and that kept me awake. Air cleared and fun had.
Dane
Oh, did I mention it was a great blow job too? Oh yeah!!!
Boy did Dane wake up grumpy! He let everyone know it too! I really could have killed him and then plead guilty by reason of insanity! The kids knew he was grumpy, the world knew he was grumpy! But I was NOT going to ruin my day at the fair! I love the fair. I just ignored him the best I could and went on with my day. I told the kids he had very little sleep so leave the bear alone. I let him nap off and on while we were listening to some of the different performance groups. I just soaked in the sun, and soaked in the music.
Once we got home we did a quick clean of our house. I asked him what today was supposed to be since we have had to switch a lot this last half of the month. I told him I would give him a good suck and then go from there! I know its more of the same, what we turn to when we just don't have the idea. I gave him a blow job, its what he loves, and has gotten A LOT of this month.
So while it was a fun day, and ended on a good note it wasn't something out side of our box. I just knew that he needed to be in a better mood, and who doesn't get into a good mood, after a suck and a fuck.
Jackie
But 2 AM happened. I woke up frustrated and a serious case of the "I didn't get any last nights" (read previous post for more details). I went downstairs about 2:30. Now what I should of done is just masturbated and held that thought till the next day. But I've really avoided that this month. Trying to go 28 straight days I don't have a lot of extra umpff to recover. So instead I tried to distract myself with some tv and computer till 6:45 when I was finally settled down enough to go back to sleep, only for us to get up at 7:30. So when I did get moving it was on very little sleep and no energy.
Now I tried. Really I did. All day I tried to get myself in the program and cheerful. I failed miserably. We went to a fair and I should of gone and slept in the car for a couple of hours and come back with a different attitude, but instead I struggled all day. I couldn't get out of the grumpies. UGHHH!
Now if ever there was a way to woo your sweetheart, being in a grumpy mood all day is NOT it. I did apologize at some point. I knew I was tired and like a 2 year old that missed his midday nap just grumpy.
When we got home I tried to take some short naps in between the boys running in and out, but it wasn't enough. To Jackies credit she IM'd me and said let's go upstairs and I'll give you a blow job and we'll go from there. She could of said, "you've been grumpy all day and I don't want to do anything". I wouldn't of blamed her. But she put me in a better mood and I slept like a log all night long. What a great wife to know and conquer the "tireds and grumpies". She went and disregarded the entire day to try to end it on a good note. I'm not sure everyone would of reached across with an olive branch after the day I had. But in the end it was the start to the end of the grumpies. I was able to get a good nights sleep with no more complaints from the little head who didn't want to listen the night before. I really wish the 2 heads would talk more some times.
So there was our day in a nut shell, but we worked through it, we talked at night like we've been doing all of Sexuary. I told her I wasn't mad at all, but that didn't just flip the switch to my pecker, and that kept me awake. Air cleared and fun had.
Dane
Oh, did I mention it was a great blow job too? Oh yeah!!!
Boy did Dane wake up grumpy! He let everyone know it too! I really could have killed him and then plead guilty by reason of insanity! The kids knew he was grumpy, the world knew he was grumpy! But I was NOT going to ruin my day at the fair! I love the fair. I just ignored him the best I could and went on with my day. I told the kids he had very little sleep so leave the bear alone. I let him nap off and on while we were listening to some of the different performance groups. I just soaked in the sun, and soaked in the music.
Once we got home we did a quick clean of our house. I asked him what today was supposed to be since we have had to switch a lot this last half of the month. I told him I would give him a good suck and then go from there! I know its more of the same, what we turn to when we just don't have the idea. I gave him a blow job, its what he loves, and has gotten A LOT of this month.
So while it was a fun day, and ended on a good note it wasn't something out side of our box. I just knew that he needed to be in a better mood, and who doesn't get into a good mood, after a suck and a fuck.
Jackie
Nope, Didn't Happen
Sexting / Mastubation - You're on retreat. So I think you'll be done early, but then me and the boys will be camping. So I'm thinking sexting…pictures…words…maybe a video….and both of us masterbate and tell the other about it as we do it.
Ok, that was the original plan. And then came the change of plan because my outing was canceled. So we decided that after Jackie got home we'd put one of the days we had to drop off for one reason or another and work from there. It would a great make up day.
I waited as patiently as a guy who knows there is going to be sex can wait. Actually I did laundry, cleaned the oven, and cleaned out the utility room that had been cluttered since we moved in. But as I waited I was getting anxious in anticipation.
Jackie got home and was exhausted. She'd been up till midnight the night before and had an early morning. Additionally she had a long drive home.
We got to bed and I started caressing Jackie and.....she fell asleep. I finally told her to turn over and I'd snuggle, but she was just so exhausted that nothing happened. I was pretty frustrated and tossed and turned for a bit before I finally settled down. While it might not have been the first time in 7 years, it's not something that's happened often, and when it does I know she really is exhausted beyond exhausted. But what my big head knows doesn't always make it to the little head in translation. See and then I get upset at myself for being frustrated because i know the situation and know there is nothing she could of done. A vicious circle of emotions.
It was a restless night and made for a grumpy day the following day. But I'll explain that in the next entry.
Dane
I had been gone from the house for 24 hours, when I came back I told Dane how exhausted I was. I just could NOT keep my eyes opened. My body was on complete shut down. It even really bothered me for him to caress me. I do have occasions that I just cant handle that. Tonight was one of them. The more he caressed me the heavier my eyes got. I faintly remember him saying turn over and I will snuggle, and I think I slurred "Im sorry" however that night was a blur. I knew the next morning he was pissy because of it..even though he said he wasn't he was..drives me nuts when he acts that way..
Jackie
Ok, that was the original plan. And then came the change of plan because my outing was canceled. So we decided that after Jackie got home we'd put one of the days we had to drop off for one reason or another and work from there. It would a great make up day.
I waited as patiently as a guy who knows there is going to be sex can wait. Actually I did laundry, cleaned the oven, and cleaned out the utility room that had been cluttered since we moved in. But as I waited I was getting anxious in anticipation.
Jackie got home and was exhausted. She'd been up till midnight the night before and had an early morning. Additionally she had a long drive home.
We got to bed and I started caressing Jackie and.....she fell asleep. I finally told her to turn over and I'd snuggle, but she was just so exhausted that nothing happened. I was pretty frustrated and tossed and turned for a bit before I finally settled down. While it might not have been the first time in 7 years, it's not something that's happened often, and when it does I know she really is exhausted beyond exhausted. But what my big head knows doesn't always make it to the little head in translation. See and then I get upset at myself for being frustrated because i know the situation and know there is nothing she could of done. A vicious circle of emotions.
It was a restless night and made for a grumpy day the following day. But I'll explain that in the next entry.
Dane
I had been gone from the house for 24 hours, when I came back I told Dane how exhausted I was. I just could NOT keep my eyes opened. My body was on complete shut down. It even really bothered me for him to caress me. I do have occasions that I just cant handle that. Tonight was one of them. The more he caressed me the heavier my eyes got. I faintly remember him saying turn over and I will snuggle, and I think I slurred "Im sorry" however that night was a blur. I knew the next morning he was pissy because of it..even though he said he wasn't he was..drives me nuts when he acts that way..
Jackie
Friday, February 22, 2013
Early Morning Sex
So this was a change to our schedule. Due to Jackie having to leave at 7 am we decided that a real early morning would be better than what was scheduled. That and during the height of the yeast infection, we did hand jobs.
So about 4:45 AM I woke up, at attention and ready to go. Now mind you I'm a morning person and Jackie is not. She's always told me I could wake her up, she'll just go back to sleep when we're done. But I know she's not a morning person so I don't take advantage of it to often. But I do love starting the day with a romp in the hay. I mean how can a day be bad when you've started out with sex? Seriously my energy will never be at it's highest level then when I wake up, and medically testosterone is at it's peak in the morning, so everything is optimal.
These early morning sessions are not going to be our normal marathons, but they are satisfying, especially on days where we know one of us isn't going to be around or going to be worn out later in the day. Isn't a quickie better than nothing? It is in my books.
So on this 23rd day of our Sexuary we got one in. Dang, only 5 more days left!
Dane
I cant believe we are on day 23! I just has absolutely flown by! I mean really only a few more days and we are finished!! EEEEK. I am being honest here I think we might go through some withdrawals! Today we changed it up again from what it was, and I was going to be gone for a solid 24 hours plus some. So I told Dane he could just wake me up. He said it was 4;45, I am pretty sure it was 4;30 because when I saw the clock after we were finished it was only 4;50. I swear when I tell him he can wake me up he is like a kid waiting for Santa, he doesn't sleep much and is up super early...And when I say don't worry I will go back to sleep, I do! It was an early morning quickie, he loves it. I deal with it. Its not my favorite but sometimes you do what do what you don't normally do. So we did LOL I hope our kids appreciated his good mood ;)
Jackie
So about 4:45 AM I woke up, at attention and ready to go. Now mind you I'm a morning person and Jackie is not. She's always told me I could wake her up, she'll just go back to sleep when we're done. But I know she's not a morning person so I don't take advantage of it to often. But I do love starting the day with a romp in the hay. I mean how can a day be bad when you've started out with sex? Seriously my energy will never be at it's highest level then when I wake up, and medically testosterone is at it's peak in the morning, so everything is optimal.
These early morning sessions are not going to be our normal marathons, but they are satisfying, especially on days where we know one of us isn't going to be around or going to be worn out later in the day. Isn't a quickie better than nothing? It is in my books.
So on this 23rd day of our Sexuary we got one in. Dang, only 5 more days left!
Dane
I cant believe we are on day 23! I just has absolutely flown by! I mean really only a few more days and we are finished!! EEEEK. I am being honest here I think we might go through some withdrawals! Today we changed it up again from what it was, and I was going to be gone for a solid 24 hours plus some. So I told Dane he could just wake me up. He said it was 4;45, I am pretty sure it was 4;30 because when I saw the clock after we were finished it was only 4;50. I swear when I tell him he can wake me up he is like a kid waiting for Santa, he doesn't sleep much and is up super early...And when I say don't worry I will go back to sleep, I do! It was an early morning quickie, he loves it. I deal with it. Its not my favorite but sometimes you do what do what you don't normally do. So we did LOL I hope our kids appreciated his good mood ;)
Jackie
Manicures
Ok, not sure how this will be 'erotic' or leading to sex, so I'm going to take your lead here. I'm ok giving and receiving manicure and pedicures
So a regular treat for Jackie is to go and have her nails done and her feet done. I'm assuming she likes the hands on attention to her hands and feet. I enjoy being able to give her this luxury when ever we can. So like the notes to our stated, I wasn't sure how this would turn sexual at all, but it would make Jackie happy and I'm game.
So we had gotten a pedicure kit and Jackie had some finger nail stuff (I know technical terms from a guy with no clue). So Jackie did my pedicure and then I did hers. Then she wanted some stickers put on her fingernails so I did that to finish up.
Sexual? I'm not sure you could call it sexual, but I could see where it would be a form of foreplay especially in this Sexuary where we're trying different things. It's hands on the other persons body. It's caressing. It's rubbing. So yeah, I could see some of it. Not something that is going to make me hot, heavy and ready to shoot a load, but I like any time I can get my hands on Jackie. So I can see where someone would call it a Fetish and get excited about it.
Dane
Wow what lady doesn't love a mani/pedi day...I was a bit nervous since I do go on a regular mani/pedi at least once a month, sometime 2 times a month if its been a stressful month. It really does relax me, I really love it when they can work on my feet and hand at the same time. So Dane and I went shopping, we went looking for a pedi kit. While I wasn't sure it was a sexual thing, I just knew it was humbling to wash someone feet, to show love by washing, drying and rubbing on them. I started first with his feet, so he would have an idea on what to do. We filled a tub, and added our stuff to it and took turns with each other.
While it wasn't a super horny, wet kind of activity but it did help, we still had a great rest of the evening together. Lots of hands on and lots of touching and who doesn't like that!
This month has been going great!We are having lots of fun!
Jackie
So a regular treat for Jackie is to go and have her nails done and her feet done. I'm assuming she likes the hands on attention to her hands and feet. I enjoy being able to give her this luxury when ever we can. So like the notes to our stated, I wasn't sure how this would turn sexual at all, but it would make Jackie happy and I'm game.
So we had gotten a pedicure kit and Jackie had some finger nail stuff (I know technical terms from a guy with no clue). So Jackie did my pedicure and then I did hers. Then she wanted some stickers put on her fingernails so I did that to finish up.
Sexual? I'm not sure you could call it sexual, but I could see where it would be a form of foreplay especially in this Sexuary where we're trying different things. It's hands on the other persons body. It's caressing. It's rubbing. So yeah, I could see some of it. Not something that is going to make me hot, heavy and ready to shoot a load, but I like any time I can get my hands on Jackie. So I can see where someone would call it a Fetish and get excited about it.
Dane
Wow what lady doesn't love a mani/pedi day...I was a bit nervous since I do go on a regular mani/pedi at least once a month, sometime 2 times a month if its been a stressful month. It really does relax me, I really love it when they can work on my feet and hand at the same time. So Dane and I went shopping, we went looking for a pedi kit. While I wasn't sure it was a sexual thing, I just knew it was humbling to wash someone feet, to show love by washing, drying and rubbing on them. I started first with his feet, so he would have an idea on what to do. We filled a tub, and added our stuff to it and took turns with each other.
While it wasn't a super horny, wet kind of activity but it did help, we still had a great rest of the evening together. Lots of hands on and lots of touching and who doesn't like that!
This month has been going great!We are having lots of fun!
Jackie
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Forced Servitude (Day 2)
Jackie Dom - So this is the day 2 of the servitude. Same 4 hours 7:45 - 11:45 and the opposite person will be Dom. Anything can be asked/demanded, you can't say no without repercussions (spankings, insertations, others???)
So today is the 3/4ths the way there day. Twenty-one of twenty-eight days done after today. That's a lot of days of planning and being intimate with Jackie. The planning has been half the success of this. I wonder how many times we just try to 'let things happen' instead of planning something. When you plan, you make the intimacy a priority. When you're making that a priority, you're telling your partner that they are a priority. This month of Sexuary, Jackie and I have moved each other to the top of the priority list. It's been fun. It's been interesting, but most of all it's brought us closer together.
So on to the day.
It was to be a day of servitude. Jackie really just wanted to play with one of her new toys on me. She wasn't really into the servitude/Mistress stuff, but I was going to do what ever she wanted. It was fun, it was hot and we had a great time.
Afterwards she waxed me and then we went about our daily stuff. But in the mean time we spent a couple of purposeful hours together. Today was planned for the fetish, but what we had was a great time. And what we did would be considered very fetishy for many I'm sure. For us it's enjoying ourselves in the bedroom.
The whole Dom/sub thing just isn't Jackies thing. She likes the tie up and have fun, but that's the extent and that's ok, cause I still get more than most guys could ever hope for. I get understanding that I'm who I am and it's ok. She gets the same from me in return. Have you created that safe space in your bedroom for your partner?
One week left...*sigh*...Will be interesting to see how this winds up. We have some of the most 'out of the box' stuff planned for this coming week after tomorrow. Should be very interesting.
Dane
Well we just hit the 3 week mark, and have one week to go! This month has just flown by, I can tell you that the last 2 sexuaries were like pulling teeth. Which tells me we didn't plan enough...we just tried to do exactly what we normally did, and this time we planned for months...And it worked...this really has been a great month. We have talked more, understood more, relaxed more, and tried new things. That IS what this month is about.
Today was Forced Servitude, something that is a hard limit for me. Both receiving and giving. I don't mind being tied up or being spanked in the heat of the moment. I just don't like the forced thing, "You will do this, and if not there will be punishment" I don't like that. I like having a bit of control like when I tell him "Be ready for me when I get home from work with your ass up in the air" and I will spank him, But that's not the lady in leather snapping the whip. I am just not that type of person, think part of it is it takes me to a dark place. I have been in abusive relationships and that's what it reminds me of.
So we talked about this the night before, here is what I wanted: I wanted to use my new toy, so he will need to get himself ready, that I wanted to to get him from behind with my new strap-on. We tried, the strap-on was not what I had hoped, although we will use it again because you need to keep trying to get it correct. That being said I still got him good, I got to spank him and got to run my nails up and down him to send him over the top.
It was a lot of fun! I had a great day with him. And with his job like it is I enjoyed having a bit of uninterrupted time with him!
Jackie
So today is the 3/4ths the way there day. Twenty-one of twenty-eight days done after today. That's a lot of days of planning and being intimate with Jackie. The planning has been half the success of this. I wonder how many times we just try to 'let things happen' instead of planning something. When you plan, you make the intimacy a priority. When you're making that a priority, you're telling your partner that they are a priority. This month of Sexuary, Jackie and I have moved each other to the top of the priority list. It's been fun. It's been interesting, but most of all it's brought us closer together.
So on to the day.
It was to be a day of servitude. Jackie really just wanted to play with one of her new toys on me. She wasn't really into the servitude/Mistress stuff, but I was going to do what ever she wanted. It was fun, it was hot and we had a great time.
Afterwards she waxed me and then we went about our daily stuff. But in the mean time we spent a couple of purposeful hours together. Today was planned for the fetish, but what we had was a great time. And what we did would be considered very fetishy for many I'm sure. For us it's enjoying ourselves in the bedroom.
The whole Dom/sub thing just isn't Jackies thing. She likes the tie up and have fun, but that's the extent and that's ok, cause I still get more than most guys could ever hope for. I get understanding that I'm who I am and it's ok. She gets the same from me in return. Have you created that safe space in your bedroom for your partner?
One week left...*sigh*...Will be interesting to see how this winds up. We have some of the most 'out of the box' stuff planned for this coming week after tomorrow. Should be very interesting.
Dane
Well we just hit the 3 week mark, and have one week to go! This month has just flown by, I can tell you that the last 2 sexuaries were like pulling teeth. Which tells me we didn't plan enough...we just tried to do exactly what we normally did, and this time we planned for months...And it worked...this really has been a great month. We have talked more, understood more, relaxed more, and tried new things. That IS what this month is about.
Today was Forced Servitude, something that is a hard limit for me. Both receiving and giving. I don't mind being tied up or being spanked in the heat of the moment. I just don't like the forced thing, "You will do this, and if not there will be punishment" I don't like that. I like having a bit of control like when I tell him "Be ready for me when I get home from work with your ass up in the air" and I will spank him, But that's not the lady in leather snapping the whip. I am just not that type of person, think part of it is it takes me to a dark place. I have been in abusive relationships and that's what it reminds me of.
So we talked about this the night before, here is what I wanted: I wanted to use my new toy, so he will need to get himself ready, that I wanted to to get him from behind with my new strap-on. We tried, the strap-on was not what I had hoped, although we will use it again because you need to keep trying to get it correct. That being said I still got him good, I got to spank him and got to run my nails up and down him to send him over the top.
It was a lot of fun! I had a great day with him. And with his job like it is I enjoyed having a bit of uninterrupted time with him!
Jackie
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Public Spaces
So this will be sex in one of the vehicles. We talked about XXXSX as a last resort (safe space), but I would really like to keep an eye out for some place a bit riskier. A 90% safe place that would add some real excitement that we really could be caught (even though I don't want to be). Do we take out the seats of the van and put the blow up mattress in it?
Ok, I have to start out by saying that if allowed I would just walk around naked all the time. Around the house, around town, to go shopping, etc, etc, etc. I love being naked and have NO and I mean NO hang ups about being naked around other people. In high school I was always the kid who jumped into the lake and skinny dipped while everyone else was drinking. Never bothered me. I'm overweight, I'm not anything great to look at, but I don't care, I LOVE being naked.
So with that said we added this to the list. Now ultimately I'd like to have sex in a display window at the mall, but realize that's not going to happen. So the next best thing is to go out and have sex outside of the house (no, not in a motel room). I almost fainted when I saw Jackie hadn't scratched it off her Sexuary fetish list. It's just now she's comfortable walking around the house naked when no one else is home.
So we have a spot we knew would be safe. Ok, there was a very small chance someone would show up, but not really. But we could be outdoors and have some great sex. Originally I figured Jackie would want to go in the cover of night, but it was her idea to go during the day...YIPPEEEE! I'm all in! So I packed the tarp and a blanket and off we went.
Now I have to say I was a bit taken back when the buzzard was flying around at first checking us out. No we're not dead, go away! Geez. But we spent 45 minutes or so out there naked and having fun. Next time I have to remember a pillow or two and a towel to wipe down before we get back dressed. At least I'm hoping there will be a next time.
Several of the 'good things in life' all rolled into one great package today enjoying sex outdoors.
Dane
Sex in public spaces...while I know I am really not that type of person, I know Dane is. He loves being naked, and would all day long if he could. He would live a nudist lifestyle if given the chance. I on the other hand want a little on, its take almost 6 years to get to where I will even walk around the house naked if there is no one home. Even now I still wonder...is there someone going to come knock on door? Our old house we had plenty of "Hiding" places to go if someone knocked, but in the new place not so much.
So getting back to public spaces. We talked and talked about the where we wanted to go. We compromised and found a place. A place we knew there prolly would not be anyone there but there was a small/slight chance someone might drive in. So I get home from work today and Dane has all of the stuff packed in the little car. I kinda freaked out since I had thought we were taking the van and were going to be in it. I got myself collected and off we went. We got to our spot and he laid out a tarp and a blanket. That's it nothing else...I was like maybe you should have brought another blanket or something to cover us in? He being how he is really did not think it was that big of deal. So we undressed and layed down. Things got hot and heavy and orgasm were made. He asked me about the Buzzard, I told him nope didn't see it...All in all it was nice, the weather was perfect! Temperature was in upper 70's, sun was totally out, a small breeze...I really could have laid there longer but we had to get back into the real world, and I was a bit concerned that "my girls" who don't usually see sunlight would get burned....
So all in all it was a great day, we did something out of the norm, and while I am not wanting to do that all the time, I would do it again. IF I knew for certain we wouldn't be disturbed.
WE are almost 3 quarters of the way through...I cant believe it! Wow what a month. We have some great things on the calender for the rest of the month.
Jackie..
Ok, I have to start out by saying that if allowed I would just walk around naked all the time. Around the house, around town, to go shopping, etc, etc, etc. I love being naked and have NO and I mean NO hang ups about being naked around other people. In high school I was always the kid who jumped into the lake and skinny dipped while everyone else was drinking. Never bothered me. I'm overweight, I'm not anything great to look at, but I don't care, I LOVE being naked.
So with that said we added this to the list. Now ultimately I'd like to have sex in a display window at the mall, but realize that's not going to happen. So the next best thing is to go out and have sex outside of the house (no, not in a motel room). I almost fainted when I saw Jackie hadn't scratched it off her Sexuary fetish list. It's just now she's comfortable walking around the house naked when no one else is home.
So we have a spot we knew would be safe. Ok, there was a very small chance someone would show up, but not really. But we could be outdoors and have some great sex. Originally I figured Jackie would want to go in the cover of night, but it was her idea to go during the day...YIPPEEEE! I'm all in! So I packed the tarp and a blanket and off we went.
Now I have to say I was a bit taken back when the buzzard was flying around at first checking us out. No we're not dead, go away! Geez. But we spent 45 minutes or so out there naked and having fun. Next time I have to remember a pillow or two and a towel to wipe down before we get back dressed. At least I'm hoping there will be a next time.
Several of the 'good things in life' all rolled into one great package today enjoying sex outdoors.
Dane
Sex in public spaces...while I know I am really not that type of person, I know Dane is. He loves being naked, and would all day long if he could. He would live a nudist lifestyle if given the chance. I on the other hand want a little on, its take almost 6 years to get to where I will even walk around the house naked if there is no one home. Even now I still wonder...is there someone going to come knock on door? Our old house we had plenty of "Hiding" places to go if someone knocked, but in the new place not so much.
So getting back to public spaces. We talked and talked about the where we wanted to go. We compromised and found a place. A place we knew there prolly would not be anyone there but there was a small/slight chance someone might drive in. So I get home from work today and Dane has all of the stuff packed in the little car. I kinda freaked out since I had thought we were taking the van and were going to be in it. I got myself collected and off we went. We got to our spot and he laid out a tarp and a blanket. That's it nothing else...I was like maybe you should have brought another blanket or something to cover us in? He being how he is really did not think it was that big of deal. So we undressed and layed down. Things got hot and heavy and orgasm were made. He asked me about the Buzzard, I told him nope didn't see it...All in all it was nice, the weather was perfect! Temperature was in upper 70's, sun was totally out, a small breeze...I really could have laid there longer but we had to get back into the real world, and I was a bit concerned that "my girls" who don't usually see sunlight would get burned....
So all in all it was a great day, we did something out of the norm, and while I am not wanting to do that all the time, I would do it again. IF I knew for certain we wouldn't be disturbed.
WE are almost 3 quarters of the way through...I cant believe it! Wow what a month. We have some great things on the calender for the rest of the month.
Jackie..
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Speculum and Anal
So let's order and purchase a speculum. I want to look and play down below. I'd really like one for your pussy and ass. While it's in I plan on using your vibrator and watching what happens inside too. This is NOT about pain. If I cum in your pussy I might want to look a second time to see the difference. Do I need to dress up in a white coat and pretend to be a doctor?
Ok, because Jackie is finishing up with a yeast infection we decided to forgo this for the moment. I didn't want to spread anything or rekindle what we are finally getting under control. But I did want to explain this a bit in case we have to wait till next month to bring it back (cause eventually I will get to play doctor).
And that's probably the first of it. I'm not really the medical type. I mean I know some medical things, but I'm not the one watching doctor shows and all. But after watching the doctor use the speculum on Jackie during a check up after surgery was a bit of a turn on. So we've ordered speculums for this. I look forward to getting a peak in there.
So last night we got back into gear. Nothing over the top special, but still was great to get both of us satisfied again. We'll get back into our list today with Public Spaces, oh I can't wait. And if todays doesn't happen this month it will just give me something to look forward to in March.
Dane
Speculum and Anal....Dane really wanted to do this. We bought all the things we would need. I know he has seen it being used when I have gone for my well woman checkups. I don't understand it but again this month is out of our box...so this will be out of the box. Right now though until the yeast infection is gone I certainly don't want him lookin' at my insides
LOL
However all this being said I did say the favorite words a man likes to hear from his wife...."I am horny!" All these days with getting some has been hell going without some...I didnt care if I still have the infection or not dang it I needed a release. So we got back on the horse last night!!! YEAH!! I got the release I needed and he did to...
Now bring on the "Public sex" day...as I bite my lip and fight with myself on all the what if's that could happen...
Jackie
Ok, because Jackie is finishing up with a yeast infection we decided to forgo this for the moment. I didn't want to spread anything or rekindle what we are finally getting under control. But I did want to explain this a bit in case we have to wait till next month to bring it back (cause eventually I will get to play doctor).
And that's probably the first of it. I'm not really the medical type. I mean I know some medical things, but I'm not the one watching doctor shows and all. But after watching the doctor use the speculum on Jackie during a check up after surgery was a bit of a turn on. So we've ordered speculums for this. I look forward to getting a peak in there.
So last night we got back into gear. Nothing over the top special, but still was great to get both of us satisfied again. We'll get back into our list today with Public Spaces, oh I can't wait. And if todays doesn't happen this month it will just give me something to look forward to in March.
Dane
Speculum and Anal....Dane really wanted to do this. We bought all the things we would need. I know he has seen it being used when I have gone for my well woman checkups. I don't understand it but again this month is out of our box...so this will be out of the box. Right now though until the yeast infection is gone I certainly don't want him lookin' at my insides
LOL
However all this being said I did say the favorite words a man likes to hear from his wife...."I am horny!" All these days with getting some has been hell going without some...I didnt care if I still have the infection or not dang it I needed a release. So we got back on the horse last night!!! YEAH!! I got the release I needed and he did to...
Now bring on the "Public sex" day...as I bite my lip and fight with myself on all the what if's that could happen...
Jackie
Remember the Goals
Well the dreaded yeast infection hit a all time high over the weekend. There was absolutely no way I could play. Ugg, I really wanted to use some new toys. I was totally disappointed that we could not play. I know that we still had a great weekend. Part of this month is for us to talk, to listen, to try new things, to have quality time with each other. That is exactly what happened this weekend. We had talked a lot,and discussed things over the first half of the month. What we liked, and what we didn't. What did we want to do again, what did we look forward to that was in the next half of the month. It really is a month of communication, we have a crazy month and if we DON'T communicate it would not happen. We have talked about it in the dark, we have talked about it over supper, we have talked more than we have in the last 7 years! That is what this month is about.
So fast forward to this Sunday, another couple who we know is doing Sexuary in their own way, told me that while they haven't done it like we have and that they didn't understand why we were doing it the way we were and that they didn't agree with the whole "tshirt" and beating someone else. That it was not the point of Sexuary. So I got to share with her that our month was our month. WE decided on 28 things we wanted to try, that we would try willingly and that we would NOT judge each other. That we would communicate the how, what, when and what for's. She looked at me like a light bulb went off, and said Oh I had not thought of it that way before. Now keep in mind that couple have been married almost 25 years, and they still struggle with their sex lives. In fact the last 3 years we have encouraged them to do Sexuary. I thought we had talked about what the goals where about, that each person/couple just needed to make goals. If they did something more that normal then they when doing exactly what this month was supposed to be about.
So we are on the back-hill slide of our month. Things have come up that are beyond our control, but you know what that's ok, WHY? Because I have had a great 18 days with my husband! That we are closer than ever, that we can keep adding great things to our lives and to our sex lives. That I LOVE my hubby more today then the day we married...
I cant wait until the end of Sexuary, so we can sit and decide how we are going to change our monthly calenders....woohooo wonder what will get added for the next 11 months..
Jackie
Jackie hit the highlights of our weekend. Websites checking out cures and running to Wholefoods to make sure she got to feeling better as fast as possible. One of the worst things for a guy is to have a problem we can't fix. It's what we do, we fix things. So when it's out of our control, be it a yeast infection, or one of our kids sick, it takes a mental toll on us. I was glad when Sunday morning Jackie said she was 100x better.
We have talked and talked. It's fun to plan things out and work on the things that didn't work. Understand that we when we talk about the things that didn't work we have to create those safe spaces that our partner will know it's ok to talk about it and they aren't going to be chastised for it. I thought it would always be the guy whos wanting more, but I know that's not the case. I've known several women over the years that want more in the bedroom and the husband just won't give in. I don't understand it, but I know it's true. So in those cases the guy might figure it's been this way so long she'd never 'forgive me' anyway, so why try. It's in these times the safe space is imperative. But we CAN talk about the good the bad and the ugly of this month and have, making sure the rest of the year is going to be just as much fun.
So this weekend was highly modified but we pushed through. Honestly if I were the kiss and tell type guy I think I'd have most guys scared rather than jealous. Lots on our plates still as we count down the last of our month.But this isn't our first Sexuary and we're ready to rock and roll to the very end!!!
Dane
So fast forward to this Sunday, another couple who we know is doing Sexuary in their own way, told me that while they haven't done it like we have and that they didn't understand why we were doing it the way we were and that they didn't agree with the whole "tshirt" and beating someone else. That it was not the point of Sexuary. So I got to share with her that our month was our month. WE decided on 28 things we wanted to try, that we would try willingly and that we would NOT judge each other. That we would communicate the how, what, when and what for's. She looked at me like a light bulb went off, and said Oh I had not thought of it that way before. Now keep in mind that couple have been married almost 25 years, and they still struggle with their sex lives. In fact the last 3 years we have encouraged them to do Sexuary. I thought we had talked about what the goals where about, that each person/couple just needed to make goals. If they did something more that normal then they when doing exactly what this month was supposed to be about.
So we are on the back-hill slide of our month. Things have come up that are beyond our control, but you know what that's ok, WHY? Because I have had a great 18 days with my husband! That we are closer than ever, that we can keep adding great things to our lives and to our sex lives. That I LOVE my hubby more today then the day we married...
I cant wait until the end of Sexuary, so we can sit and decide how we are going to change our monthly calenders....woohooo wonder what will get added for the next 11 months..
Jackie
Jackie hit the highlights of our weekend. Websites checking out cures and running to Wholefoods to make sure she got to feeling better as fast as possible. One of the worst things for a guy is to have a problem we can't fix. It's what we do, we fix things. So when it's out of our control, be it a yeast infection, or one of our kids sick, it takes a mental toll on us. I was glad when Sunday morning Jackie said she was 100x better.
We have talked and talked. It's fun to plan things out and work on the things that didn't work. Understand that we when we talk about the things that didn't work we have to create those safe spaces that our partner will know it's ok to talk about it and they aren't going to be chastised for it. I thought it would always be the guy whos wanting more, but I know that's not the case. I've known several women over the years that want more in the bedroom and the husband just won't give in. I don't understand it, but I know it's true. So in those cases the guy might figure it's been this way so long she'd never 'forgive me' anyway, so why try. It's in these times the safe space is imperative. But we CAN talk about the good the bad and the ugly of this month and have, making sure the rest of the year is going to be just as much fun.
So this weekend was highly modified but we pushed through. Honestly if I were the kiss and tell type guy I think I'd have most guys scared rather than jealous. Lots on our plates still as we count down the last of our month.But this isn't our first Sexuary and we're ready to rock and roll to the very end!!!
Dane
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Tattooing and Piercing
Ok, this one might be a bit more imagination than real. We could go 2 ways on this. We could order some henna tattoos and 'fake' percings. I was thinking though we could be in Austin and go to some tattoo and piercing shops and who knows….but remember we have 13 more days to go. If we do go to town you can do the very slutty dressing up....you tell me what you want me to dress as. *** Ok since we've discussed it, we'll go to some shops, maybe some 'real tattoo' shops and some henna ones, and get tattoos. I know you want a butterfly, what is your bad boy going to get? Help me out said the tattoo virgin. We've ordered the hells gate, did you want some sort of piercings (fake or real)? Nipples? Clit?
Oh so many lines of thoughts going on here.
I guess I'll get the 'bad' news out of the way. Our dreaded anticipated visitor finally made it. No, not Auntie Flow, much worst, the yeast infection. At 11 pm on Valentines Day I went to go get some cream for her. I really feel bad for her. I'm not sure a womans parts are made for the kind of abuse we've given it this month, and we're just barely over 1/2 way there. So all day today off and on she's been fighting this battle. We're hoping by tomorrow she'll be better, but past results haven't been so lucky. I'm betting our weekend will be modified some to accommodate her current condition and then she'll get to the doctor. So with that in mind we made sure to give the first round of meds a chance and have no morning playing around.
So why Tattooing and Piercing? First of all Jackie has several tattoos and I think if I let her would have many more. Ok, let her isn't the right word, but in case you didn't know, nice tats cost serious dollars. And the tattoo really has to just beg for Jackie to want it, so it's not like she's ready to put just anything on her body. But she loves them. She's said many times that one of the best orgasms she had was when she was getting her tramp stamp on her back. There goes that pleasure pain thing again. A needle poking you over and over again, piercing into you and you have an orgasm. Isn't the mind a great thing?
Additionally we've talked about a piercing for her clit and for my penis off and on for 5+ years I guess. I'm not sure either of us will ever have one, but that's been the thought.
So there it goes on day 16 of the calendar.
In preparation we've ordered several new pieces of jewelry, all of them for just a couple of dollars each. Nothing was over $5 or $6 with the exception of a piece for me that was $12. We ordered 2 or 3 sets of nipple rings that clamp on and have beads hanging down. We ordered a clit clamp with beads on it. We ordered a 'bull nose' nipple ring. And last but not least for me we ordered a "Gates of Hell" cock ring set. I think we've had as much fun trying on the new toys leading up to today as we would today.
Jackie has been almost obsessed with her nipples this month. It's funny because normally she could care less one way or the other about them. Ok, she doesn't want me to neglect them, but it's more my obsession than hers. Not this month. It's like all of her nerve endings have decided to reroute themselves and terminate in her breast. Yeah for me!!! Every time I look over she's putting on a nipple clamp and trying it on. She spend an entire day looking online for new ones. It's like she just discovered she has these things and they can feel good too. Yeah for Sexuary and the discovery of new things.
As we were packing Jackie had me try to put on the 'bull ring' clamp. Not today. They seriously pinch and after all the play she's had over the last 2 weeks her nipples couldn't handle it. It really disappointed her though.
So we decided to get a hotel room (have I mentioned how much we love "hotel sex"? ) and check in for the weekend. We gear up and head out knowing that only the 2 of us know we're wearing jewelry underneath our cloths. For the reason mentioned at the beginning of this Jackie decided to forgo the clit clamp for the night, but has promised me that she'd wear it another night after Sexuary was all over with.
So we go to eat and grab a booth. Jackie excuses herself and when she comes back she whispers in my ear that she removed her bra so the jewelry was now showing through her shirt. Oh my. What a turn on that was for me. I asked her if she felt naughty knowing her nipples were clamped like that in public? I knew I did knowing my cock and balls were tightly packaged and encased. She was really getting turned on and an adult version of strawberry lemonade didn't hurt the cause.
We got to talking about what the best experiences were so far, and maybe what could of been done differently on the ones that didn't go so well. While we weren't talking loud or anything I got to wondering if the woman on the backside of the booth was wondering what the hell we were talking about. I mean have you ever been sitting somewhere and you haven't heard a single word of a conversation but then the word 'penis' or 'pussy' or 'nipples' come up? Our radar takes over and we have to listen now. We kind of chuckled and hoped maybe she'd get into the Sexuary act that night with her man if she did hear our conversation.
After eating we found a tattoo parlor Jackie wanted to visit. We found out earlier that the henna tattoo places all were by appointment only, so we missed out there. It is a shame too, because I was ready to freak out our kids with a tattoo on Sunday. But we went in, looked around. Nothing seemed to really hit Jackie. But there is something about being 'bad' in those places. The outside the box. The other side of our every day lives when we go visit those. I've taken Jackie several times to different parlors when we're in a big town just as foreplay. Damn right it works every time.
So we headed back to the hotel to finish the night off. It was different. It was fun. It was harmless. And most of all it was a turn on for both of us. Oh and for the record Jackie is seriously thinking of getting her nipples pierced. Now this is NOT prompting from me, but from her new found obsession with them. We're going to wait a month or so though to see if she still feels that way or if it's just a Sexuary obsession.
Oh did I mention that Jackies right nipple decided to get soft and drop her clamp in the Target parking lot? We got a laugh out of that, especially as a mom was telling her young boy to 'just put it in your pocket' as we were looking for her lost nipple ring. We still found the clamp in the parking lot, but we could just imagine if the boy had found it what his mom would explain that one away with. Tweezers? lol
What have you done to create laughter and fun in your relationship this month? Have you done anything 'bad' that would be oh so good for the two of you? If so, good for you! If not, why not? What are you waiting for? Make it your goal today to do something to help you and your partner laugh and have fun in the bedroom.
Dane
Bad news...even with tons of Vitamin C, and multi-vitamins I now have a full blown yeast infection. I am on round 2 of OTC remedies and so far, not much help. I am still taking tons of VC and not helping as of yet. I do NOT want to cancel any plans, I am thinking we can still play, I don't want to change anything...(insert a cry and whimper here)
Yeah tattoo and piercing night! I love Tattoo's I have 4 already and Dane is right I would have a bunch more if they didn't cost so dang much! I am very select when it comes to tattoo. I really think about the big picture...what is it that I am going to want to see for the rest of my life. Can it be covered easily if I ever go back to the work place? Right now a tall pair of socks or long pants and a shirt will cover all of mine. I know I want a Butterfly...I went through a spiritual awakening over the last year and have felt like a Butterfly coming out of its shell, and I want a reminder..I also want a word,,but what word do I want to see on me forever...I have thought about a set of rings we own where the Bible book of Ruth is written out in Hebrew...your God my God, where you go I will go etc...that is the theme of our lives..or does that fall into the "never put a guy or girls name on your body" list...uggg decisions decisions...what to decide. So we went to a tattoo place spent about an hour looking through pictures, 1000+ of pictures, and never finding the "perfect" one. The last one took me 4 tattoo places to finally find the right one.
Now its also piercing night. We bought several "fake" piercings some just slide on the nipple and some clamp. I do not know why they excited me like they do but I swear there is a nerve that runs from my nipple to my clit that sends electricity down and around in my body. Which is totally not like me, since my breast are not a usual turn on. I could care less about having them sucked on or played with. I know he likes it so I never say not to. So tonight as we went to supper I put on my rings. Dane tells me after supper when we are going to Tattoo places NO BRA. I decided to surprise him and took it off in the bathroom at the resturant. Now keep in mind, I am a 42DDDD so its very hard to let my boobs hang...I hate that they sag, and I want them up! So I am sitting in resturant and I have no bra, and I have my nipple clamps on. The ones I like the most are twizzer type that have an adjustable ring on them. We made it all the way through dinner with both. Then we had to go to the store for more medicine...Was hoping another night with all the medicine and I would be better. Well unknown to me as I stepped out of the car one of my nipple clamps has fallen off. Went we into the store looking some different lubes, and I realise I have dropped one. We back tracked through the store to see where I lost it. Never found it, we walked out to car upset it was gone. We walked by a family with 2 little boys, with the mom saying "Just put it in your pocket and leave it there" we chuckled and said well hopefully its NOT my nipple clip. Well low and behold about 10 steps back there it was on the ground! Yeahhhhhhhh
I would like to say we came back to our hotel and had awesome hotel sex, but with my yeast infection that is a no go right now. That's not to say we didn't enjoy ourselves, we did play but we just didn't have intercourse..
All in all it was great day, we had quality time together, we had great conversation over great food, and ended the night cuddled together. Reminding each other that even after Sexuary is over we need to schedule in time for us. Alone time and extra time to push our limits :)
Jackie
Oh so many lines of thoughts going on here.
I guess I'll get the 'bad' news out of the way. Our dreaded anticipated visitor finally made it. No, not Auntie Flow, much worst, the yeast infection. At 11 pm on Valentines Day I went to go get some cream for her. I really feel bad for her. I'm not sure a womans parts are made for the kind of abuse we've given it this month, and we're just barely over 1/2 way there. So all day today off and on she's been fighting this battle. We're hoping by tomorrow she'll be better, but past results haven't been so lucky. I'm betting our weekend will be modified some to accommodate her current condition and then she'll get to the doctor. So with that in mind we made sure to give the first round of meds a chance and have no morning playing around.
So why Tattooing and Piercing? First of all Jackie has several tattoos and I think if I let her would have many more. Ok, let her isn't the right word, but in case you didn't know, nice tats cost serious dollars. And the tattoo really has to just beg for Jackie to want it, so it's not like she's ready to put just anything on her body. But she loves them. She's said many times that one of the best orgasms she had was when she was getting her tramp stamp on her back. There goes that pleasure pain thing again. A needle poking you over and over again, piercing into you and you have an orgasm. Isn't the mind a great thing?
Additionally we've talked about a piercing for her clit and for my penis off and on for 5+ years I guess. I'm not sure either of us will ever have one, but that's been the thought.
So there it goes on day 16 of the calendar.
In preparation we've ordered several new pieces of jewelry, all of them for just a couple of dollars each. Nothing was over $5 or $6 with the exception of a piece for me that was $12. We ordered 2 or 3 sets of nipple rings that clamp on and have beads hanging down. We ordered a clit clamp with beads on it. We ordered a 'bull nose' nipple ring. And last but not least for me we ordered a "Gates of Hell" cock ring set. I think we've had as much fun trying on the new toys leading up to today as we would today.
Jackie has been almost obsessed with her nipples this month. It's funny because normally she could care less one way or the other about them. Ok, she doesn't want me to neglect them, but it's more my obsession than hers. Not this month. It's like all of her nerve endings have decided to reroute themselves and terminate in her breast. Yeah for me!!! Every time I look over she's putting on a nipple clamp and trying it on. She spend an entire day looking online for new ones. It's like she just discovered she has these things and they can feel good too. Yeah for Sexuary and the discovery of new things.
As we were packing Jackie had me try to put on the 'bull ring' clamp. Not today. They seriously pinch and after all the play she's had over the last 2 weeks her nipples couldn't handle it. It really disappointed her though.
So we decided to get a hotel room (have I mentioned how much we love "hotel sex"? ) and check in for the weekend. We gear up and head out knowing that only the 2 of us know we're wearing jewelry underneath our cloths. For the reason mentioned at the beginning of this Jackie decided to forgo the clit clamp for the night, but has promised me that she'd wear it another night after Sexuary was all over with.
So we go to eat and grab a booth. Jackie excuses herself and when she comes back she whispers in my ear that she removed her bra so the jewelry was now showing through her shirt. Oh my. What a turn on that was for me. I asked her if she felt naughty knowing her nipples were clamped like that in public? I knew I did knowing my cock and balls were tightly packaged and encased. She was really getting turned on and an adult version of strawberry lemonade didn't hurt the cause.
We got to talking about what the best experiences were so far, and maybe what could of been done differently on the ones that didn't go so well. While we weren't talking loud or anything I got to wondering if the woman on the backside of the booth was wondering what the hell we were talking about. I mean have you ever been sitting somewhere and you haven't heard a single word of a conversation but then the word 'penis' or 'pussy' or 'nipples' come up? Our radar takes over and we have to listen now. We kind of chuckled and hoped maybe she'd get into the Sexuary act that night with her man if she did hear our conversation.
After eating we found a tattoo parlor Jackie wanted to visit. We found out earlier that the henna tattoo places all were by appointment only, so we missed out there. It is a shame too, because I was ready to freak out our kids with a tattoo on Sunday. But we went in, looked around. Nothing seemed to really hit Jackie. But there is something about being 'bad' in those places. The outside the box. The other side of our every day lives when we go visit those. I've taken Jackie several times to different parlors when we're in a big town just as foreplay. Damn right it works every time.
So we headed back to the hotel to finish the night off. It was different. It was fun. It was harmless. And most of all it was a turn on for both of us. Oh and for the record Jackie is seriously thinking of getting her nipples pierced. Now this is NOT prompting from me, but from her new found obsession with them. We're going to wait a month or so though to see if she still feels that way or if it's just a Sexuary obsession.
Oh did I mention that Jackies right nipple decided to get soft and drop her clamp in the Target parking lot? We got a laugh out of that, especially as a mom was telling her young boy to 'just put it in your pocket' as we were looking for her lost nipple ring. We still found the clamp in the parking lot, but we could just imagine if the boy had found it what his mom would explain that one away with. Tweezers? lol
What have you done to create laughter and fun in your relationship this month? Have you done anything 'bad' that would be oh so good for the two of you? If so, good for you! If not, why not? What are you waiting for? Make it your goal today to do something to help you and your partner laugh and have fun in the bedroom.
Dane
Bad news...even with tons of Vitamin C, and multi-vitamins I now have a full blown yeast infection. I am on round 2 of OTC remedies and so far, not much help. I am still taking tons of VC and not helping as of yet. I do NOT want to cancel any plans, I am thinking we can still play, I don't want to change anything...(insert a cry and whimper here)
Yeah tattoo and piercing night! I love Tattoo's I have 4 already and Dane is right I would have a bunch more if they didn't cost so dang much! I am very select when it comes to tattoo. I really think about the big picture...what is it that I am going to want to see for the rest of my life. Can it be covered easily if I ever go back to the work place? Right now a tall pair of socks or long pants and a shirt will cover all of mine. I know I want a Butterfly...I went through a spiritual awakening over the last year and have felt like a Butterfly coming out of its shell, and I want a reminder..I also want a word,,but what word do I want to see on me forever...I have thought about a set of rings we own where the Bible book of Ruth is written out in Hebrew...your God my God, where you go I will go etc...that is the theme of our lives..or does that fall into the "never put a guy or girls name on your body" list...uggg decisions decisions...what to decide. So we went to a tattoo place spent about an hour looking through pictures, 1000+ of pictures, and never finding the "perfect" one. The last one took me 4 tattoo places to finally find the right one.
Now its also piercing night. We bought several "fake" piercings some just slide on the nipple and some clamp. I do not know why they excited me like they do but I swear there is a nerve that runs from my nipple to my clit that sends electricity down and around in my body. Which is totally not like me, since my breast are not a usual turn on. I could care less about having them sucked on or played with. I know he likes it so I never say not to. So tonight as we went to supper I put on my rings. Dane tells me after supper when we are going to Tattoo places NO BRA. I decided to surprise him and took it off in the bathroom at the resturant. Now keep in mind, I am a 42DDDD so its very hard to let my boobs hang...I hate that they sag, and I want them up! So I am sitting in resturant and I have no bra, and I have my nipple clamps on. The ones I like the most are twizzer type that have an adjustable ring on them. We made it all the way through dinner with both. Then we had to go to the store for more medicine...Was hoping another night with all the medicine and I would be better. Well unknown to me as I stepped out of the car one of my nipple clamps has fallen off. Went we into the store looking some different lubes, and I realise I have dropped one. We back tracked through the store to see where I lost it. Never found it, we walked out to car upset it was gone. We walked by a family with 2 little boys, with the mom saying "Just put it in your pocket and leave it there" we chuckled and said well hopefully its NOT my nipple clip. Well low and behold about 10 steps back there it was on the ground! Yeahhhhhhhh
I would like to say we came back to our hotel and had awesome hotel sex, but with my yeast infection that is a no go right now. That's not to say we didn't enjoy ourselves, we did play but we just didn't have intercourse..
All in all it was great day, we had quality time together, we had great conversation over great food, and ended the night cuddled together. Reminding each other that even after Sexuary is over we need to schedule in time for us. Alone time and extra time to push our limits :)
Jackie
Friday, February 15, 2013
Corset and Plugs
Since I anticipate being in Ausitn the night before then we can bring your corsette and for me a butt plug for public wearing. I would think maybe a trip to Lucy in Disguise….some public making out. Thinking you wont be wearing any underwear and I can at least finger you in a public area and if the opportunity exist public sex. As for me, I would want you to rub on m ass and remind me there is a butt plug in my ass (i bet you'll see my cock get hard when you do) and remembering my ass is probably sore from the week before tease and treat me.
Originally this was for this coming Sunday, but because of other obligations we moved it to Valentines Day. We always take the day to get away anyway, we both put work aside as much as possible and focus on each other.
Today was about 2 different things. In Jackies case it was to flaunt a bit of what she has, and in my case it's about doing something sexual right in front of everyone, without them even knowing about it. Both have their sexual charge.
So picture Jackie in her corset and a very low cut dress. I thought it was very sweet her belt matched the corset and really looked hot! I on the other hand had a butt plug firmly planted in my rear, that only Jackie and I knew was there and off we went.
Oh wait, phone rings and I had to go to work for a few minutes. So butt plug firmly planted in my ass, my cheeks holding on tight, I went in, fixed the problem and we headed on to Austin.Of course the whole time I'm wondering what they would think if they knew I had a butt plug firmly planted in my rear.
So we go by the Megaplexx and Jackie finds a great toy for both of us. A 2 sided, vibrator with a strap and a remote control. She's in heaven.
Next I take her to get her pampering at the nail shop, where they proceed to comment on her 'attire' and the hickies (on her boobs). "Your husband a lucky man", don't I know it!!! The poor guy who works there was red faced. Did I mention Jackie was HOT?
We then went to a nice lunch. It was hot knowing that Jackie was showing off some of her great assets and I was hiding the fact I was playing sexually with my rear. HOT! HOT! HOT!
Ok, so afterwards we did something we use to do more often, and we both love. I don't know what it is about checking into a cheap hotel for a great 1 or 1 1/2 hour hot sex session. I don't know if it's the sneaking off to do it. I don't know if it reminds us of when we were dating and we'd sneak off during the day for a quickie. I don't know what it is, but it's hot for both of us.
We then headed back to an event back home we were obliged to attend. It didn't matter, we had spent the day together and had explored some exhibitionism, some public toy play and last but not least great hotel sex. Oh and a package of toys we ordered came in. what a great Valentines Day!
Dane
PS - Of course she got chocolates and roses too! Geez, what do you take me for?
Yeah Valentines day! If you haven't noticed our calender has totally changed lately. Its our crazy lives that we have to move stuff around, but that is what its all about.
We decided today would be corset and butt play. I have several corsets, one because we are avid Renaissance faire people and another one I got on clearance this summer and had been waiting for the perfect time to wear it. Today was the day! Its a nice Patton leather one adjustable, and over all pretty darn comfortable and easily removed ;) So take one shiny leather corset, low cut dress, and a town that is used to the "weird" I fit right in. First off was a new set of nails and a pedi. The ladies were teasing me so much about my girls showing and a hickey showing too. The lone gent in the place was really red over some of the comments and the fact that my girls were screaming to be looked at. It made me laugh too! We went to lunch at a great restaurant then off to a cheap hotel for fast hot hotel sex. We have not gotten to do that as often as we used to. WE had a great time, its was even more exciting to make a mess in the room and then head off wondering if the maids noticed we left so quickly.
Our day ended with "life" taking up the rest of the evening but when I got home there were a dozen red roses, chocolates and teddy bear waiting for me...We had a great day and cant wait to see what the end of our month brings..
Jackie
Originally this was for this coming Sunday, but because of other obligations we moved it to Valentines Day. We always take the day to get away anyway, we both put work aside as much as possible and focus on each other.
Today was about 2 different things. In Jackies case it was to flaunt a bit of what she has, and in my case it's about doing something sexual right in front of everyone, without them even knowing about it. Both have their sexual charge.
So picture Jackie in her corset and a very low cut dress. I thought it was very sweet her belt matched the corset and really looked hot! I on the other hand had a butt plug firmly planted in my rear, that only Jackie and I knew was there and off we went.
Oh wait, phone rings and I had to go to work for a few minutes. So butt plug firmly planted in my ass, my cheeks holding on tight, I went in, fixed the problem and we headed on to Austin.Of course the whole time I'm wondering what they would think if they knew I had a butt plug firmly planted in my rear.
So we go by the Megaplexx and Jackie finds a great toy for both of us. A 2 sided, vibrator with a strap and a remote control. She's in heaven.
Next I take her to get her pampering at the nail shop, where they proceed to comment on her 'attire' and the hickies (on her boobs). "Your husband a lucky man", don't I know it!!! The poor guy who works there was red faced. Did I mention Jackie was HOT?
We then went to a nice lunch. It was hot knowing that Jackie was showing off some of her great assets and I was hiding the fact I was playing sexually with my rear. HOT! HOT! HOT!
Ok, so afterwards we did something we use to do more often, and we both love. I don't know what it is about checking into a cheap hotel for a great 1 or 1 1/2 hour hot sex session. I don't know if it's the sneaking off to do it. I don't know if it reminds us of when we were dating and we'd sneak off during the day for a quickie. I don't know what it is, but it's hot for both of us.
We then headed back to an event back home we were obliged to attend. It didn't matter, we had spent the day together and had explored some exhibitionism, some public toy play and last but not least great hotel sex. Oh and a package of toys we ordered came in. what a great Valentines Day!
Dane
PS - Of course she got chocolates and roses too! Geez, what do you take me for?
Yeah Valentines day! If you haven't noticed our calender has totally changed lately. Its our crazy lives that we have to move stuff around, but that is what its all about.
We decided today would be corset and butt play. I have several corsets, one because we are avid Renaissance faire people and another one I got on clearance this summer and had been waiting for the perfect time to wear it. Today was the day! Its a nice Patton leather one adjustable, and over all pretty darn comfortable and easily removed ;) So take one shiny leather corset, low cut dress, and a town that is used to the "weird" I fit right in. First off was a new set of nails and a pedi. The ladies were teasing me so much about my girls showing and a hickey showing too. The lone gent in the place was really red over some of the comments and the fact that my girls were screaming to be looked at. It made me laugh too! We went to lunch at a great restaurant then off to a cheap hotel for fast hot hotel sex. We have not gotten to do that as often as we used to. WE had a great time, its was even more exciting to make a mess in the room and then head off wondering if the maids noticed we left so quickly.
Our day ended with "life" taking up the rest of the evening but when I got home there were a dozen red roses, chocolates and teddy bear waiting for me...We had a great day and cant wait to see what the end of our month brings..
Jackie
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Half Way There
So out of everything that has concerned me during the preparation for this month was that Jackie would get sick or worst yet a major yeast infection and kill the rest of the month. I'm generally healthy as a horse and rarely get sick. But in prevention Jackie and I have been on vitamins, Activa has been regular in both of our diets. We both had flu shots. All this in preparation for a Sexuary of Sexuaries. The bar was set high and we wanted to make sure that yucky, itchy, blahs wouldn't hit us in the middle of the month.
So yesterday right after Jackie and I had been playing I started to feel bad. Honestly I wasn't 100% earlier, and it could even explain some of my mental state yesterday morning. But shortly after we played I got sick. I'm talking 101F sick. Now don't think that 90% of what I was worried about was if I didn't get to feeling better our streak would be blown. Ok, at least when I was coherent enough to think.
I don't know what it was, but today I was better. My temp broke in the middle of the night and while I've been weak I've been much better and ready to continue on.
So we had vanilla sex while the kids were out this evening. You know what? It was actually pretty exciting! After all the extras we've been going through for the last 13 days it was actually pretty great that 14 was vanilla.
So we're 1/2 way there (remember we started 1/31 so a day ahead), and looking good. We are 2x our own personal best (yes, we went from 7 straight days to 28 as a goal). And I have to tell you, the 14 days, even with the ups and downs we've been through, has been a lot more fun the the 7 in a row, or the 15 days (every other day) last year. I've enjoyed the exploring, the nightly pillow talk, the extra text I get on my phone telling me what fun Jackie had, or what she's anticipating, and honestly I think both of us have enjoyed the blog and sharing with everyone the ups and downs of this month.
Tomorrow if Valentines day. We're off for a day of adventure and romance. If you haven't started your Sexuary adventures then tomorrow is a great day for it. Everyone is a bit more open on Valentines Day to romance, communication, and love. Don't pass up this opportunity.
Dane
We have been going and going and going. Working on this calender, its been crazy, so ups and some downs. Some good, some not so good. The good news is we are half way there! We managed to fend off yeast infections, sickies, and everything else in between. Until Tuesday, then it hit. It hit Dane hard! Thank goodness we decided to play that morning or we would not have played. Even if our day started off rough and we did not do anything that was on the list. I say it ended up at pretty good day. We actually had 4 hours of un-interupted time together. The phone never rang, and with Dane's job that was a miracle in itself!
Sure we resorted to "vanilla" as he said but you know what....its what we both needed! I enjoyed our very vanilla day.
I know this month has been to work on the spice of life, but sometimes its good to take a step back and go back to what you know...I enjoyed it to the max...Spice or not I love Dane and wouldn't trade this month for anything! 14 days down...we are half way there baby!
Jackie
So yesterday right after Jackie and I had been playing I started to feel bad. Honestly I wasn't 100% earlier, and it could even explain some of my mental state yesterday morning. But shortly after we played I got sick. I'm talking 101F sick. Now don't think that 90% of what I was worried about was if I didn't get to feeling better our streak would be blown. Ok, at least when I was coherent enough to think.
I don't know what it was, but today I was better. My temp broke in the middle of the night and while I've been weak I've been much better and ready to continue on.
So we had vanilla sex while the kids were out this evening. You know what? It was actually pretty exciting! After all the extras we've been going through for the last 13 days it was actually pretty great that 14 was vanilla.
So we're 1/2 way there (remember we started 1/31 so a day ahead), and looking good. We are 2x our own personal best (yes, we went from 7 straight days to 28 as a goal). And I have to tell you, the 14 days, even with the ups and downs we've been through, has been a lot more fun the the 7 in a row, or the 15 days (every other day) last year. I've enjoyed the exploring, the nightly pillow talk, the extra text I get on my phone telling me what fun Jackie had, or what she's anticipating, and honestly I think both of us have enjoyed the blog and sharing with everyone the ups and downs of this month.
Tomorrow if Valentines day. We're off for a day of adventure and romance. If you haven't started your Sexuary adventures then tomorrow is a great day for it. Everyone is a bit more open on Valentines Day to romance, communication, and love. Don't pass up this opportunity.
Dane
We have been going and going and going. Working on this calender, its been crazy, so ups and some downs. Some good, some not so good. The good news is we are half way there! We managed to fend off yeast infections, sickies, and everything else in between. Until Tuesday, then it hit. It hit Dane hard! Thank goodness we decided to play that morning or we would not have played. Even if our day started off rough and we did not do anything that was on the list. I say it ended up at pretty good day. We actually had 4 hours of un-interupted time together. The phone never rang, and with Dane's job that was a miracle in itself!
Sure we resorted to "vanilla" as he said but you know what....its what we both needed! I enjoyed our very vanilla day.
I know this month has been to work on the spice of life, but sometimes its good to take a step back and go back to what you know...I enjoyed it to the max...Spice or not I love Dane and wouldn't trade this month for anything! 14 days down...we are half way there baby!
Jackie
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Dom/sub
Ok let's try this. It can go either way and we probably need to decide now who will go first. There will be a second one later in the month to reverse the rolls. So we can do it by a roll of the dice or you can decide if you'd like to be Dom first or sub first. 4 Hour time limit - 7:45 - 11:45 in the morning. Anything can be asked/demanded, you can't say no without reprecutions (spankings, insertations, others???) - *** Decided Dane will Dom 1st***
So in a land far far away and many years ago I had a girlfriend of sorts that was into some BDSM. It wasn't like she lived every day of her life that way, but she liked a good scene. We went to several munches (meetings of like minded BDSM members) and were invited to a couple of parties that had sceneing. We would leave and have hot sex.
I loved the control. I loved not only the willingness of her to comply but the desired to do her best to send me over the top with her actions. I can picture in my dreams Jackie fulfilling those wants and desires and it's a huge turn on for me.
I've tried over the years to bring 50 Shades of Gray to our bedroom, and have some very mild success, but that's it. The success I've had has been fleeting and very sporadic. I saw this as an opportunity to, on a very limited and safe scale, bring it to the next level. Create a scene and go through it. It's not like she doesn't like many of the components of the scene, but the scene itself seems to just lock her up and shut her down.
Now today was a bit different. I had a very early meeting in which we were suppose to start right after an errand I had to run after the meeting. I come home though and things aren't the way they are suppose to be with our kids and I got upset. Then Jackie is upset or bothered or ...I don't know but it's not right. I told her let's just cancel it all because of the happenings. She insisted, though not with enthusiasm, that we continue when I got back.
I got back and I"m still not right in my head, and it appears to me that every step she takes is trodden with fear. Anyone who knows BDSM knows that is NOT how it's suppose to be. We went upstairs where she had drawn me a bath per instructions and I pulled her close and called our safe word. Before we go any further I was stopping it. I still had 4 hours set aside of us time, and we'd spend them together, but it wouldn't be a scene. My head wasn't wrapped tightly around it and neither was hers and someone would of gotten hurt either physically or mentally because of it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in the outcome of the last 2 days. I knew they were at Jackies very limits if not exceeded them, and was kind of surprised to see them still on the list when we were done with the 'hard limit' removals. I knew I would be lucky if one of these days went as planned.
But with all that said and done, it's more important that she and I are ok than for me to relive an old dream. Oh don't get me wrong, I could live in Anne Rices Beauty world. I have no doubt with my demeanor that I would fit in...though I'm not always certain if I'd be a Top or bottom. But as we've learned several times this month of Sexuary, my dreams and fetishes don't always overlap with hers. There is a very large center where both do overlap, and for the most part that's where we'll stay.
Oh, we did take the 4 hours together. She still bathed me and we spent the rest of the morning in bed. So don't feel sorry for me. And while we haven't decided what goes into tomorrows slot, the rest of the week is much more to Jackies taste buds and should go much better.
Dane
So today was totally out of my comfort zone. Sure I love to read and watch it but have never really dreamed of doing anything Dom and certainly NOT Sub. Its a mind game, one that makes me feel small. I kept it on the calendar because I knew Dane really wanted to try. Its so new to me I needed guidance. I wanted to know the rules, what was going to happen, the black the white, so I could chew over it and ask questions. I did not "say" it out loud. I just thought it was what would happen. I thought I would get them ahead of time, instead I got them the morning of. Now those who know me know I am ADD. I need a few rules and I need time to read read and reread and work through them so I know the rules. I got a list of 6 and in some of those you would think Oh that's common sense. I got my rules this morning about 15 minutes before he got home and I was supposed to be ready, I really needed them weeks ago. I needed to be able to wrap my, progressive 'no man is gonna tell me what to do' brain around them.Well its only common if its common, and these in my eyes were not common.
I had a hard time getting ready let alone trying to get my head in the game when I still had to do "life" I tried, I really did but once again I wasnt showing enough. I didnt react enough. "Life" got in the way. Maybe 4 hours was too much. Maybe we need to step back and do 30 mins at a time. And work up to it. This month is about pushing limits..I do feel bad because the things that I havent reacted to is what he wanted to try. That he always does what I want to make me happy, and this was what he wanted to try. I don't know why when I dislike something I cant get past the head game.
We still did spend 4 hours together, I rubbed on him, sucked on him, and layed with him, slept with him. Had a great morning, I am sorry that I wasn't able to enjoy this like he had hoped. Who knows what will happen in the future. I think it might just be where I am right now in my life. Who knows where I will be next year. Its hard when making a calender of fetishes, you need stuff you both like. I told him when we first started this in November if I had given him the list to begin with NOTHING would have been on it. I am trying to expand my box. I still love my box, but I am willing...Sometimes the lid slams shut but its not locked...How are you doing? Are you pushing your limits? Are you finding something new you like? Are you communicated the right way? I know I still have struggles with that. Danes magic ball doesn't work and it wont work, I have to tell him what I need, I can't expect him to know whats going on in my head.
So in a land far far away and many years ago I had a girlfriend of sorts that was into some BDSM. It wasn't like she lived every day of her life that way, but she liked a good scene. We went to several munches (meetings of like minded BDSM members) and were invited to a couple of parties that had sceneing. We would leave and have hot sex.
I loved the control. I loved not only the willingness of her to comply but the desired to do her best to send me over the top with her actions. I can picture in my dreams Jackie fulfilling those wants and desires and it's a huge turn on for me.
I've tried over the years to bring 50 Shades of Gray to our bedroom, and have some very mild success, but that's it. The success I've had has been fleeting and very sporadic. I saw this as an opportunity to, on a very limited and safe scale, bring it to the next level. Create a scene and go through it. It's not like she doesn't like many of the components of the scene, but the scene itself seems to just lock her up and shut her down.
Now today was a bit different. I had a very early meeting in which we were suppose to start right after an errand I had to run after the meeting. I come home though and things aren't the way they are suppose to be with our kids and I got upset. Then Jackie is upset or bothered or ...I don't know but it's not right. I told her let's just cancel it all because of the happenings. She insisted, though not with enthusiasm, that we continue when I got back.
I got back and I"m still not right in my head, and it appears to me that every step she takes is trodden with fear. Anyone who knows BDSM knows that is NOT how it's suppose to be. We went upstairs where she had drawn me a bath per instructions and I pulled her close and called our safe word. Before we go any further I was stopping it. I still had 4 hours set aside of us time, and we'd spend them together, but it wouldn't be a scene. My head wasn't wrapped tightly around it and neither was hers and someone would of gotten hurt either physically or mentally because of it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in the outcome of the last 2 days. I knew they were at Jackies very limits if not exceeded them, and was kind of surprised to see them still on the list when we were done with the 'hard limit' removals. I knew I would be lucky if one of these days went as planned.
But with all that said and done, it's more important that she and I are ok than for me to relive an old dream. Oh don't get me wrong, I could live in Anne Rices Beauty world. I have no doubt with my demeanor that I would fit in...though I'm not always certain if I'd be a Top or bottom. But as we've learned several times this month of Sexuary, my dreams and fetishes don't always overlap with hers. There is a very large center where both do overlap, and for the most part that's where we'll stay.
Oh, we did take the 4 hours together. She still bathed me and we spent the rest of the morning in bed. So don't feel sorry for me. And while we haven't decided what goes into tomorrows slot, the rest of the week is much more to Jackies taste buds and should go much better.
Dane
So today was totally out of my comfort zone. Sure I love to read and watch it but have never really dreamed of doing anything Dom and certainly NOT Sub. Its a mind game, one that makes me feel small. I kept it on the calendar because I knew Dane really wanted to try. Its so new to me I needed guidance. I wanted to know the rules, what was going to happen, the black the white, so I could chew over it and ask questions. I did not "say" it out loud. I just thought it was what would happen. I thought I would get them ahead of time, instead I got them the morning of. Now those who know me know I am ADD. I need a few rules and I need time to read read and reread and work through them so I know the rules. I got a list of 6 and in some of those you would think Oh that's common sense. I got my rules this morning about 15 minutes before he got home and I was supposed to be ready, I really needed them weeks ago. I needed to be able to wrap my, progressive 'no man is gonna tell me what to do' brain around them.Well its only common if its common, and these in my eyes were not common.
I had a hard time getting ready let alone trying to get my head in the game when I still had to do "life" I tried, I really did but once again I wasnt showing enough. I didnt react enough. "Life" got in the way. Maybe 4 hours was too much. Maybe we need to step back and do 30 mins at a time. And work up to it. This month is about pushing limits..I do feel bad because the things that I havent reacted to is what he wanted to try. That he always does what I want to make me happy, and this was what he wanted to try. I don't know why when I dislike something I cant get past the head game.
We still did spend 4 hours together, I rubbed on him, sucked on him, and layed with him, slept with him. Had a great morning, I am sorry that I wasn't able to enjoy this like he had hoped. Who knows what will happen in the future. I think it might just be where I am right now in my life. Who knows where I will be next year. Its hard when making a calender of fetishes, you need stuff you both like. I told him when we first started this in November if I had given him the list to begin with NOTHING would have been on it. I am trying to expand my box. I still love my box, but I am willing...Sometimes the lid slams shut but its not locked...How are you doing? Are you pushing your limits? Are you finding something new you like? Are you communicated the right way? I know I still have struggles with that. Danes magic ball doesn't work and it wont work, I have to tell him what I need, I can't expect him to know whats going on in my head.
Whipping, Spanking, Mild Pain, etc
I want to spank your ass till it's red while you lay across my lap. Using the whips, my hand, etc, then when it's hot and red I want to fuck you good and hard doggie style and/or at the end of the bed.
It just didn't worked for us. Ok, I got to spank Jackies bottom with my hand, but there was no reaction. No satisfaction. No ...I don't know. I was excited with the site of her red butt laying across my lap, but ...
Jackie didn't react to any of it except when I used the paddle for one stroke and she said that was beyond her limits. I couldn't judge what was going on, I couldn't read her mind, I couldn't see a reaction. So I stopped and went to plan B. It was safe and easy.
Jackie later told me it was totally different in the height of passion to be spanked then it was today. She enjoys her rear spanked when we're going at it, but this was different.
This Sexuary has been a month of ups and downs. We've done things we've never tried, and this was one of them. We learn not all of our passions lay together, and that's ok. And there maybe times (like this month has been) that we give to the other the gift of trying something out. Opening ourselves up to new experiences so that our partner can have theirs. It's part of being in a relationship. I would say though that this will probably go along the way of the foot fetish, not to be broken out very often if ever again.
Dane
There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. We have really been working on some new things to liven up our sex lives. We have tried new things, pushing our hard limits. Today was one of those. I already knew this was a hard limit for me. I had told him up front.
So I bent over his lap and let him spank me. It was not exciting for me, it just did not do anything. I had no reaction, no grunts, no squirm, looking back I am not sure I knew what I was supposed to do. This was so out of my box, but I had no clue. What is the correct response??This is twice now that we have done something so out of my box that I don't know what I should do or how to do it....Dane always thinks I am heading into my dark place, my place where I went to during the years of abuse I suffered at the hand of a babysitter, and an ex that was very verbally abusive. I have only gone there once the whole month and that was our couples weekend, but I didn't stay long.(which is a HUGE improvement)
I also told him that is was not the same thing as it is when we are in the heat of passion. That is a HUGE turn on for me, so it really this was a huge surprise that I did not enjoy it. I told him that I really had not gone to my dark place at all. So I highly doubt I will be laying over him and letting him spank me but there will be sometimes that I ask for him to while we are in the heat of the moment.
WE are almost half way through our month, we have pushed limits, and moved in directions I did not know was possible. We are growing closer and our communication between the two of us seems to be better. We still have our struggles but all in all so far so good.
Jackie
It just didn't worked for us. Ok, I got to spank Jackies bottom with my hand, but there was no reaction. No satisfaction. No ...I don't know. I was excited with the site of her red butt laying across my lap, but ...
Jackie didn't react to any of it except when I used the paddle for one stroke and she said that was beyond her limits. I couldn't judge what was going on, I couldn't read her mind, I couldn't see a reaction. So I stopped and went to plan B. It was safe and easy.
Jackie later told me it was totally different in the height of passion to be spanked then it was today. She enjoys her rear spanked when we're going at it, but this was different.
This Sexuary has been a month of ups and downs. We've done things we've never tried, and this was one of them. We learn not all of our passions lay together, and that's ok. And there maybe times (like this month has been) that we give to the other the gift of trying something out. Opening ourselves up to new experiences so that our partner can have theirs. It's part of being in a relationship. I would say though that this will probably go along the way of the foot fetish, not to be broken out very often if ever again.
Dane
There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. We have really been working on some new things to liven up our sex lives. We have tried new things, pushing our hard limits. Today was one of those. I already knew this was a hard limit for me. I had told him up front.
So I bent over his lap and let him spank me. It was not exciting for me, it just did not do anything. I had no reaction, no grunts, no squirm, looking back I am not sure I knew what I was supposed to do. This was so out of my box, but I had no clue. What is the correct response??This is twice now that we have done something so out of my box that I don't know what I should do or how to do it....Dane always thinks I am heading into my dark place, my place where I went to during the years of abuse I suffered at the hand of a babysitter, and an ex that was very verbally abusive. I have only gone there once the whole month and that was our couples weekend, but I didn't stay long.(which is a HUGE improvement)
I also told him that is was not the same thing as it is when we are in the heat of passion. That is a HUGE turn on for me, so it really this was a huge surprise that I did not enjoy it. I told him that I really had not gone to my dark place at all. So I highly doubt I will be laying over him and letting him spank me but there will be sometimes that I ask for him to while we are in the heat of the moment.
WE are almost half way through our month, we have pushed limits, and moved in directions I did not know was possible. We are growing closer and our communication between the two of us seems to be better. We still have our struggles but all in all so far so good.
Jackie
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Anal, Fisting, Toys (Day 3)
OMG OMG OMG OMG, on day 3 of our Sexuary attempt to fist me we succeeded!!! How incredible that felt going in, being in, and even coming out. Because of the patience and process we went through I"m not sore one bit right now. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Just freaking incredible.
I did want to go over a couple of things here though.
First of all it's taken us several days to achieve this goal. It was NOT a wham bam slam it in thing. I'm saying three days, but even before that I had been working with the large butt plug to make it happen several days. It doesn't matter which hole you're trying to fist, you have to take your time so you don't tear anything. That's just to get comfortable enough that you could accept such a large object.
Then the day of you again have to take it slowly. I went through 4 dildos before finally getting there. Working my way up slowly. It doesn't matter if you're fisting an ass or a vagina it's a slow process, and you work back and forth until all of a sudden you're there.
Second, we used tons of lube. As a matter of fact just before it slid in I had Jackie put more lube on and then plop there it went. Lube, lube and more lube. Again, it doesn't matter which hole you're fisting, lube is a major key to pleasurable success. For the anal fisting we actually got some cream lube. We ordered "Elbow Grease" and it made a difference. It stayed longer doesn't dry out like KY, Wet or Astoglide type lubes we've tried in the past. Now from personal experience I can tell you the liquid lubes were fine for vaginal fisting, but you have to use plenty of it and relube as needed. The only caution is that Elbow Grease and those like it are oil based and will not work with most condoms.
Last, for us it was best when I was in control. Jackie would hold herself tightly against me and wait for me to push back to her. She would apply some pressure, but I was in control. I was the one pushing back when it was time to go further. I was also rocking some to help loosen me up. But I was in control.
We had safe words and the first day I hit my limit and had to stop. You have to totally trust your partner, and I totally trusted Jackie and in doing so I succeeded in having one of my fantasies come true.
For the record she told me she creamed as it went that last little bit in. It was totally exciting for both of us, and definitely a highlight for the day. It also means we'll be changing plans for Wednesday and Thursday since we've succeeded. I can't wait to see what we wind up putting in those 2 slots.
Dane
Houston we have lift off....is what went through my mind the minute it slid in. We have been working on this day for 3 days! I just kept trying to be patient. You have to be, like Dane said this is not something you can rush. You must take your time, and work inch by inch until bam your in. Its pretty incredible. I am not sure what he really felt but it was really exciting to see it go in. I am was not joking when I told Dane that I creamed myself as it went into him. I swear I heard the Rocky theme going off in my head! woohooo we did it! Geez now what are we going to do on our calendar for those days we were still supposed to play....
Its all about communication and flexibility. I am sure we will figure out something to do! We have made it 11 days now! Almost half way through it all...The halfway mark is around the corner.....Keep reading...its going to a great 17 days....
Jackie
I did want to go over a couple of things here though.
First of all it's taken us several days to achieve this goal. It was NOT a wham bam slam it in thing. I'm saying three days, but even before that I had been working with the large butt plug to make it happen several days. It doesn't matter which hole you're trying to fist, you have to take your time so you don't tear anything. That's just to get comfortable enough that you could accept such a large object.
Then the day of you again have to take it slowly. I went through 4 dildos before finally getting there. Working my way up slowly. It doesn't matter if you're fisting an ass or a vagina it's a slow process, and you work back and forth until all of a sudden you're there.
Second, we used tons of lube. As a matter of fact just before it slid in I had Jackie put more lube on and then plop there it went. Lube, lube and more lube. Again, it doesn't matter which hole you're fisting, lube is a major key to pleasurable success. For the anal fisting we actually got some cream lube. We ordered "Elbow Grease" and it made a difference. It stayed longer doesn't dry out like KY, Wet or Astoglide type lubes we've tried in the past. Now from personal experience I can tell you the liquid lubes were fine for vaginal fisting, but you have to use plenty of it and relube as needed. The only caution is that Elbow Grease and those like it are oil based and will not work with most condoms.
Last, for us it was best when I was in control. Jackie would hold herself tightly against me and wait for me to push back to her. She would apply some pressure, but I was in control. I was the one pushing back when it was time to go further. I was also rocking some to help loosen me up. But I was in control.
We had safe words and the first day I hit my limit and had to stop. You have to totally trust your partner, and I totally trusted Jackie and in doing so I succeeded in having one of my fantasies come true.
For the record she told me she creamed as it went that last little bit in. It was totally exciting for both of us, and definitely a highlight for the day. It also means we'll be changing plans for Wednesday and Thursday since we've succeeded. I can't wait to see what we wind up putting in those 2 slots.
Dane
Houston we have lift off....is what went through my mind the minute it slid in. We have been working on this day for 3 days! I just kept trying to be patient. You have to be, like Dane said this is not something you can rush. You must take your time, and work inch by inch until bam your in. Its pretty incredible. I am not sure what he really felt but it was really exciting to see it go in. I am was not joking when I told Dane that I creamed myself as it went into him. I swear I heard the Rocky theme going off in my head! woohooo we did it! Geez now what are we going to do on our calendar for those days we were still supposed to play....
Its all about communication and flexibility. I am sure we will figure out something to do! We have made it 11 days now! Almost half way through it all...The halfway mark is around the corner.....Keep reading...its going to a great 17 days....
Jackie
Autovampirism , Biting, Hair pulling
Let's play vampire. Sucking, biting, hair pulling, ..maybe find some fangs???
So I want to start out by saying that even with all the communications and experiences of the 2444 days we've been married, and the 2 years before that I still misread, misunderstand and misinterpret the words and actions of Jackie. Now this isn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last time I take a comment and run in the wrong direction in my head.
So let me explain. It had been a long day. We'd been up since 5:30 AM and we got home about 9 PM. Hundreds of miles on the vehicle. Oh and did I mention it was almost midnight the night before when we got to bed?
So we finally crawl into bed and the question comes "Do you want to play tonight, or have a double session tomorrow and play in the morning and afternoon tomorrow?" Ok, it's a clear question, but let me tell you what my testosterone infested brain hears - "I don't want sex tonight". Yeap, that's the translation that is clear as day in my head.
Oh this isn't the first time. In the past it's been, "my sinuses are killing me", "my shoulder is bothering me", "I'm totally wiped out", and many others all said within the hour before or while we're in bed and everyone of them translated exactly the same in my head, "I'm just not up to it tonight, so no sex tonight". Yeap, loud and clear that's the word for word translation that my brain gives those statements. Ok, in my defense that's because I was married previously to a woman that would of meant that exact translation, and it's hard to learn the same phase in a second language sometimes.
Now in the beginning I think Jackie would just roll over and go to bed frustrated not knowing what just happened. I'm certain there were times she didn't have a clue what had just hit her. Somewhere along the way we talked and I explained some of this to her. When it was all said and done I basically told her she had permission to call me an idiot, smack me upside my head and demand that I perform any and all duties that were expected of me.
Last night was one of those times.
I was tired too, but had been looking forward to this night, just like I've looked forward to every day since Sexuary has started. But being the martyr I can be I rolled over and laying on her chest just laid there figuring I'd just go to sleep. Jackie was like "WTF? I just asked a question. I didn't know how to start this, and wanted to see if you wanted to wait till tomorrow morning."
So before I get into the fetish side of things I want to just make it clear how easy it is for your partner to mistake an innocent comment. It's not hard for a partner to mistake an innocent comment. I really think most guys are programmed for rejection, especially when it comes to sex. So when we hear those nonchalant words from our partner we just assume (make all the "ass out of you and me" jokes you want) that it's just the excuse and we might as well not even try. Shy of the slap across the backside of the head I'm not sure what will every 'fix' that problem. So if your guy seems hot and heavy and then all of a sudden it's cold as ice you might ask yourself what I just said and then think like a man (read, what could of I said that might of been misinterpreted to read 'no sex tonight, don't even try') and then smack him upside the head and tell him to get back to work!
So we put this day on the calendar partially because Jackie is a vampire fanatic. Ok, she's into all the vampire, wolverines, shift changers, and ghost type stuff. Ann Rice hasn't written anything she hasn't read (yes even her BDSM stuff, though I joined her in those). So biting and hair pulling it was.
Now first thing you might say is I'm not going around with a bunch of hickies on my neck. But there are 2 things you don't know. First in the world of hickie givers, I'm the worlds worst. I mean I could suck till my jaw sucks in and there wouldn't be a mark, especially on the neck. I've never understood it, but it's the truth. Second, when we first got together Jackie told me she didn't like any hickies on or above her neck. Her boobs are free for marking up but not her neck or face. DEAL!
So as I was biting around she'd get worried and pull away. It took some of the fun away, but I still continued. Her ear lobes, her neck, her boobs, her shoulder, her back, her bottom all got my attention. During those times I'd tug on her hair. Eventually she flipped me over and got her 2 (or 20) bites in. Again the fine line between pleasure and pain taken to the limits. It excites me to no end.
Afterwards, during our pillow talk she told me she loves how I react. And I react knowing how turned on it will get her. "I don't want you to fake it" she told me. "Fake it?" oh you misunderstand, it's one of those things that I'm excited, and knowing that I can get you even more excited makes me even more excited. I hold a key to getting you over the top excited, what guy doesn't want that???
Ten days of sexuary come and gone and even with all our planning and talking we're still human. We still get tired. We still have miscommunications. We still have to schedule that time, and keep it a priority, or it will easily be taken over by ANYTHING else that's available. We can make excuses not to be intimate with our partner with thousands of excuses. We can justify it in our head all we want. But if we don't put our relationships at the top of our list then the relationship itself is in jeopardy. And the problem is that once we've gone down that path, it's really hard to get back on the right path.
I'm very lucky to have a woman like Jackie that we can be open and honest with. But think about it, not many people are so open and honest that they would be writing this blog and putting this month out there for all to read. But we do, and we do because "WE" are a priority in both of our lives. It took one of us reaching out and the other to follow. But someone has to start it all. There are no magic wands that just 'poof' fix it all, and even when it's 'fixed' there are problems....daily...sometimes hourly.....heck there are times I'm afraid to breath because I'm afraid I'll screw up again. But we talk, we work through them one by one, and hey before we know it there's a hickie on her boob.
So is today the day you do something different to improve your relationship? The day you realize he's misunderstood your off the wall comment and smack him on the back of the head? Heck do it twice and then tell him to get on his knees and .......sorry was having a flash back, but it was an exciting one.
Dane
Vampire day...lots of biting and some hair pulling. Two things I like to read about and daydream about. And I am not talking about "twlight" vampires...I am talking about TruBlood or others. I am talking about great sex, great bites and list goes on and on....I could easily turn this into a book blog with all the series I have read of the years that are "paranormal romance"
So yesterday was a busy busy busy and long day. We left the house around 730 in morning and got back at 9. 200 miles on the van we finally got home. We were both just exhausted. I know Dane won't ask for any time off, heck he is even more horny after a crazy exhausting kind of day. I wanted him to decide to he wanted to go ahead and play or just do a double banger day on Sunday. I knew we had a few hours in morning and evening that we would have alone. So I gave him the choice. Now keep in mind the whole last 2 hours on way home he has commented over and over how tired he was, and how hard it was drive us without falling asleep. So I asked him, well I thought I had asked him...and he gave me 2 answers...One was I really wanted to play but if your tired then I guess we can wait, then the other answer was you decide. I only heard "you decide" which aggravates me that he gives me this answer. If I ask a question, I don't want the answer to be for me to decide, I don't know so that's why I am asking! UGG I hate that answer. If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't ask.
So then I asked, how exactly do we get started....I know what the calender says but how does one start this? I rolled over on my back and proceeded to roll on me with his head on my chest. I was antsy because I knew if I slowed down for one minute I would be asleep then he would be upset that I fell asleep. I waited and waited and waited wondering when he was going to start...I didn't know how to start it...I was waiting for direction. I finally said, I thought you wanted to play tonight so I don't know what to do. HE then says well you gave an option and sure I wanted to play but I just figured that meant you didn't. I told him I asked him and he said he wanted to play so I thought we were going to play. I never said we were not going to play, just asked what he wanted. Communication died tonight, the rose glasses, the blue glasses, the assuming, can make life confusing. I never said I didn't want to play, all I did was ask if he wanted to wait and have a double day or play. I thought I was clear, he thought a totally different clear thought. We were NOT on the same page. It wasn't until I said "I thought we were going to play tonight" did we finally get on the same page.
Ok so now we are on the same page, he starts biting and sucking on me. As you know I have a fear or unwant of hickies on my neck. I don't mind them any other place it's just what we do is between us, no one else needs to see that! I hate seeing them on people. Its very hard to enjoy when it makes me very nervous of him kissing or sucking on my neck. I will fight tooth and nail when he comes near my ear or neck. He thinks its a trust issue, while it is some that's just not the whole reason. I just think that there are other places that are more of a turn on for me than my ears/neck. I think part of it is old memories of the ex trying to play with my ear and I swear it was like a freakin hurricane, lots of moisture, and blowing and pure nastiness that I have not been able to get past that for it to be enjoyable.
He continued to bite and suck on me. There was one time he got me good, I had to ask him to stop,(I even have a small bruise from it) He did, of course that was talked about from the beginning. Then when enough is enough you have to stop. You don't want your partner to go into a dark place. I have a lot of them, so I really try not to go into one, and we never know what will send me in a cliff of pure enjoyment or a cliff of pure hell. After he really enjoyed the biting, it was my turn. I listen for vocal cues, I listen to breathing, for movements to know when enough is enough. I know there is a fine fine line between pleasure and pain. I really do get more excited the more excited he becomes. I listen for cues on if I am doing it alright.
We tried several positions, so he could pull my hair, some more successful than others since my body still has some aches and pains from the last 10 days, and muscle groups waking up that aren't used very often.
All in all it was enjoyable. I did ride the pain/pleasure roller coaster then whole time. I swear it was minute to minute on the ride. There are no other words to describe it but a roller coaster.
What are you doing right now? Are you talking with your partner about what you want/need? Are you making sure that your desires are showing, are you assuming they know what you mean? Be sure to remember to double check your question and your answer if your not getting the response you thought you should. ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN, don't go to bed upset when you weren't being clear in the asking
Lessons learned today: don't assume, ask questions, don't freak out, and remember you are pushing your personal limits, but always remember you are safe.
Jackie
So I want to start out by saying that even with all the communications and experiences of the 2444 days we've been married, and the 2 years before that I still misread, misunderstand and misinterpret the words and actions of Jackie. Now this isn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last time I take a comment and run in the wrong direction in my head.
So let me explain. It had been a long day. We'd been up since 5:30 AM and we got home about 9 PM. Hundreds of miles on the vehicle. Oh and did I mention it was almost midnight the night before when we got to bed?
So we finally crawl into bed and the question comes "Do you want to play tonight, or have a double session tomorrow and play in the morning and afternoon tomorrow?" Ok, it's a clear question, but let me tell you what my testosterone infested brain hears - "I don't want sex tonight". Yeap, that's the translation that is clear as day in my head.
Oh this isn't the first time. In the past it's been, "my sinuses are killing me", "my shoulder is bothering me", "I'm totally wiped out", and many others all said within the hour before or while we're in bed and everyone of them translated exactly the same in my head, "I'm just not up to it tonight, so no sex tonight". Yeap, loud and clear that's the word for word translation that my brain gives those statements. Ok, in my defense that's because I was married previously to a woman that would of meant that exact translation, and it's hard to learn the same phase in a second language sometimes.
Now in the beginning I think Jackie would just roll over and go to bed frustrated not knowing what just happened. I'm certain there were times she didn't have a clue what had just hit her. Somewhere along the way we talked and I explained some of this to her. When it was all said and done I basically told her she had permission to call me an idiot, smack me upside my head and demand that I perform any and all duties that were expected of me.
Last night was one of those times.
I was tired too, but had been looking forward to this night, just like I've looked forward to every day since Sexuary has started. But being the martyr I can be I rolled over and laying on her chest just laid there figuring I'd just go to sleep. Jackie was like "WTF? I just asked a question. I didn't know how to start this, and wanted to see if you wanted to wait till tomorrow morning."
So before I get into the fetish side of things I want to just make it clear how easy it is for your partner to mistake an innocent comment. It's not hard for a partner to mistake an innocent comment. I really think most guys are programmed for rejection, especially when it comes to sex. So when we hear those nonchalant words from our partner we just assume (make all the "ass out of you and me" jokes you want) that it's just the excuse and we might as well not even try. Shy of the slap across the backside of the head I'm not sure what will every 'fix' that problem. So if your guy seems hot and heavy and then all of a sudden it's cold as ice you might ask yourself what I just said and then think like a man (read, what could of I said that might of been misinterpreted to read 'no sex tonight, don't even try') and then smack him upside the head and tell him to get back to work!
So we put this day on the calendar partially because Jackie is a vampire fanatic. Ok, she's into all the vampire, wolverines, shift changers, and ghost type stuff. Ann Rice hasn't written anything she hasn't read (yes even her BDSM stuff, though I joined her in those). So biting and hair pulling it was.
Now first thing you might say is I'm not going around with a bunch of hickies on my neck. But there are 2 things you don't know. First in the world of hickie givers, I'm the worlds worst. I mean I could suck till my jaw sucks in and there wouldn't be a mark, especially on the neck. I've never understood it, but it's the truth. Second, when we first got together Jackie told me she didn't like any hickies on or above her neck. Her boobs are free for marking up but not her neck or face. DEAL!
So as I was biting around she'd get worried and pull away. It took some of the fun away, but I still continued. Her ear lobes, her neck, her boobs, her shoulder, her back, her bottom all got my attention. During those times I'd tug on her hair. Eventually she flipped me over and got her 2 (or 20) bites in. Again the fine line between pleasure and pain taken to the limits. It excites me to no end.
Afterwards, during our pillow talk she told me she loves how I react. And I react knowing how turned on it will get her. "I don't want you to fake it" she told me. "Fake it?" oh you misunderstand, it's one of those things that I'm excited, and knowing that I can get you even more excited makes me even more excited. I hold a key to getting you over the top excited, what guy doesn't want that???
Ten days of sexuary come and gone and even with all our planning and talking we're still human. We still get tired. We still have miscommunications. We still have to schedule that time, and keep it a priority, or it will easily be taken over by ANYTHING else that's available. We can make excuses not to be intimate with our partner with thousands of excuses. We can justify it in our head all we want. But if we don't put our relationships at the top of our list then the relationship itself is in jeopardy. And the problem is that once we've gone down that path, it's really hard to get back on the right path.
I'm very lucky to have a woman like Jackie that we can be open and honest with. But think about it, not many people are so open and honest that they would be writing this blog and putting this month out there for all to read. But we do, and we do because "WE" are a priority in both of our lives. It took one of us reaching out and the other to follow. But someone has to start it all. There are no magic wands that just 'poof' fix it all, and even when it's 'fixed' there are problems....daily...sometimes hourly.....heck there are times I'm afraid to breath because I'm afraid I'll screw up again. But we talk, we work through them one by one, and hey before we know it there's a hickie on her boob.
So is today the day you do something different to improve your relationship? The day you realize he's misunderstood your off the wall comment and smack him on the back of the head? Heck do it twice and then tell him to get on his knees and .......sorry was having a flash back, but it was an exciting one.
Dane
Vampire day...lots of biting and some hair pulling. Two things I like to read about and daydream about. And I am not talking about "twlight" vampires...I am talking about TruBlood or others. I am talking about great sex, great bites and list goes on and on....I could easily turn this into a book blog with all the series I have read of the years that are "paranormal romance"
So yesterday was a busy busy busy and long day. We left the house around 730 in morning and got back at 9. 200 miles on the van we finally got home. We were both just exhausted. I know Dane won't ask for any time off, heck he is even more horny after a crazy exhausting kind of day. I wanted him to decide to he wanted to go ahead and play or just do a double banger day on Sunday. I knew we had a few hours in morning and evening that we would have alone. So I gave him the choice. Now keep in mind the whole last 2 hours on way home he has commented over and over how tired he was, and how hard it was drive us without falling asleep. So I asked him, well I thought I had asked him...and he gave me 2 answers...One was I really wanted to play but if your tired then I guess we can wait, then the other answer was you decide. I only heard "you decide" which aggravates me that he gives me this answer. If I ask a question, I don't want the answer to be for me to decide, I don't know so that's why I am asking! UGG I hate that answer. If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't ask.
So then I asked, how exactly do we get started....I know what the calender says but how does one start this? I rolled over on my back and proceeded to roll on me with his head on my chest. I was antsy because I knew if I slowed down for one minute I would be asleep then he would be upset that I fell asleep. I waited and waited and waited wondering when he was going to start...I didn't know how to start it...I was waiting for direction. I finally said, I thought you wanted to play tonight so I don't know what to do. HE then says well you gave an option and sure I wanted to play but I just figured that meant you didn't. I told him I asked him and he said he wanted to play so I thought we were going to play. I never said we were not going to play, just asked what he wanted. Communication died tonight, the rose glasses, the blue glasses, the assuming, can make life confusing. I never said I didn't want to play, all I did was ask if he wanted to wait and have a double day or play. I thought I was clear, he thought a totally different clear thought. We were NOT on the same page. It wasn't until I said "I thought we were going to play tonight" did we finally get on the same page.
Ok so now we are on the same page, he starts biting and sucking on me. As you know I have a fear or unwant of hickies on my neck. I don't mind them any other place it's just what we do is between us, no one else needs to see that! I hate seeing them on people. Its very hard to enjoy when it makes me very nervous of him kissing or sucking on my neck. I will fight tooth and nail when he comes near my ear or neck. He thinks its a trust issue, while it is some that's just not the whole reason. I just think that there are other places that are more of a turn on for me than my ears/neck. I think part of it is old memories of the ex trying to play with my ear and I swear it was like a freakin hurricane, lots of moisture, and blowing and pure nastiness that I have not been able to get past that for it to be enjoyable.
He continued to bite and suck on me. There was one time he got me good, I had to ask him to stop,(I even have a small bruise from it) He did, of course that was talked about from the beginning. Then when enough is enough you have to stop. You don't want your partner to go into a dark place. I have a lot of them, so I really try not to go into one, and we never know what will send me in a cliff of pure enjoyment or a cliff of pure hell. After he really enjoyed the biting, it was my turn. I listen for vocal cues, I listen to breathing, for movements to know when enough is enough. I know there is a fine fine line between pleasure and pain. I really do get more excited the more excited he becomes. I listen for cues on if I am doing it alright.
We tried several positions, so he could pull my hair, some more successful than others since my body still has some aches and pains from the last 10 days, and muscle groups waking up that aren't used very often.
All in all it was enjoyable. I did ride the pain/pleasure roller coaster then whole time. I swear it was minute to minute on the ride. There are no other words to describe it but a roller coaster.
What are you doing right now? Are you talking with your partner about what you want/need? Are you making sure that your desires are showing, are you assuming they know what you mean? Be sure to remember to double check your question and your answer if your not getting the response you thought you should. ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN, don't go to bed upset when you weren't being clear in the asking
Lessons learned today: don't assume, ask questions, don't freak out, and remember you are pushing your personal limits, but always remember you are safe.
Jackie
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