Men Are So Visual - Communication

So just like anyone else we have peaks and ruts, and sometimes those ruts become valleys.  We work on sex all the time, and even in our vigilance we wind up in our 'safe', 'regular' and 'easy' routine when we're not watching.  It happens even to guys like us who will go a month straight with a different kink every day, so I know it happens to everyone.  Well one of the best things about Jackies and my relationship is that we can talk to the other person when we see this happening.  Honestly it generally starts out with a letter from one of us to the other.  We're not trying to be confrontational, we're trying to be informative.  "Hey babe, have you notice our sex is sucking lately? I know we have a lot on the plate, and I'm not pulling my end either, so can we work on it?" Ok, not the letter I sent, but honestly that's what it boiled down to this week.

Well after talking it through and talking about some of the underlying issues we both were facing, we both agreed that we needed to get this back as a priority.  It helps both of us.  Self esteem.  Our relationship.  Remembering that we're a couple/team, and we'll get through any of this.  That intimacy is necessary for our success.

If you haven't noticed, I love being nude, I love Jackie being nude, I love nudity.  When I met Jackie she would put something on even if we were the only 2 in the house.  Last night after our kid went to bed Jackie was nude and in her Lazy-Boy in the living room.  She's come a long way and I love it.  I love watching my wife move around nude, and would hide everything in her closet so she'd have to stay that way if I could get away with it.  I love the site of flesh.  BUT with all that said I don't know a man alive who doesn't appreciate the effort when a woman tries to 'dress for the occasion'.  Jackie has lots of sexy attire, Teddys, panty and bra combinations, dresses that look hot on her, etc, etc..  But she doesn't wear them because, 'you're just going to rip them off and I'll be naked'.  *sigh*  She's right to some extent.  The visual when she does something sexy like that is such a turn on I have a hard time (ok, maybe some pun intended) not just ripping them off, tossing her on the bed and having my way with her.  But the point is she did look that sexy that drove me nuts to get me to that point, I can't help it if my accelerator gets stuck wide open when I see her all seXXXy and I know it's because she's trying to turn me on.  It works!!  

Trust me, I know it's effort, but isn't that part of the deal?  We all have to put forth effort to make our relationships work. 

So this week Jackie went to work.  She got herself ready while I was gone to work, and started sending pictures.  Oh my!!!  The stocking picture alone had me ready to get home as quick as I could.  And when I got home there was this beautiful woman laying on our bed all HOT and seXXXy and waiting to be attacked.  I took me a few minutes to take in the entire package that laid there to be unwrapped. I even had the presence of mind to take a few pictures before we got into it to far.  OMG, from head to toe she was hot, and she did all that for me. She was wearing high heel black shoes which she never wears, ever.  Stockings, silky and tigh high.  Matching panties.  A black corset that she managed to get in by herself.  Talk about climbing out of a rut quickly.

Jackie went right for the jugglers in a way she knows works, because she knows men are visual creatures, and she knows what I like.  It was very hot, and more than I was hoping for. I on the other hand used ever ounce of control not to rip them right off and take her right then.  The sex was fantastic. Both times.

So the moral of the story?  First as always communication is key to everything.  If you can't talk to each other I don't know what you really have.  If you get defensive when your partner is just trying to point out that there is an issue, there is a problem.  You have to be able to work through things.  You have to be able to talk and agree to make things better.  You have to be able to get through what happened back when so that today can work for you as a couple, and move up out of those ruts.  Jackie didn't get mad when I sent her that letter.  She took it for what it was intended, "we" needed (that's both of us) to work on this issue.  She took the first step in that decision and what a hell of a first step.

Second, just because we like something doesn't mean we don't appreciate a break from it.  Like I said, I LOVE nudity, but I love that Jackie took the time to look extra hot for me. Bottom line men are visual creatures and something like this works for us.

In a rut?  Talk to your significant other,let them know you've noticed and ready to do something about it with them.  Oh and while you're at it, it's October already, so start thinking about themes for Sexuary coming up. No seriously have fun and start planning for Sexuary.  Make it so special that the planning up to it will be just as much fun as the getting there.  That will help keep those ruts our of your bed and sex life.

Dane