Sexuary 2019 - Making out in the car

Ok, do you remember when you got your drivers license?  The best part about it was that your weekend dates could now be unchaperoned right?  And that meant making out in the car on the way to or from each others house.  Or maybe you got to be so fortunate as to go to Make-Out Lane and made out there. We had a bridge I know we could park under that was safe from view.  There were a couple of pull offs that I could pull into behind some trees in another place I lived.  But once we were there it was make out time!

Well to say the house Jackie and I live in is busy would be an understatement.  So finding privacy outside the bedroom has been an issue for us.  Oh don't get us wrong, we obviously find plenty of sex in our bedroom, but sometimes we want to be somewhere else. 

This Sexuary we've brought back making out in the car. Sometimes while returning from our rope dates.  Sometimes just out on the front driveway.  Just to be clear we live in a neighborhood, so it's like when you use to drop your date off and hope her dad wouldn't come knocking on your door.  Cars pass by and others could come out of the house at any time, but we don't care.  I keep a vibrator in the car most of the time, and Jackie can always put on a show.  Or my belt and zipper will magically open up and Jackie could be going down on me.  My fingers will definitely find a clit to rub and potentially a hole or two to fill while we're necking.  Bras never seem to stay on and when we walk back into the house it seems we might carry as much of our clothing as we are wearing.  The car might even have that .....that wonderful smell of, "there has been sex in here" for a day or two afterwards.  You might even get into the car the next day and smile when you have to pull your seat up to drive remembering the adventures of last night.

I know I know we all get so freaking busy that sex, and particularly foreplay, can be put on the back burner.  But let's be real here, it's there if we want it, it just has to become a priority.  And one of the ways to make it that is to take advantage of those few minutes in between here and there while in your car.

If you're fortunate enough like me to have a bench seat it works even better.  If that gives you the motivation to clean out the back seat, that works too.  But all these are just obstacles that can be overcome.

So our advice? Steam up some windows!!! Give your partner a show!!! Reach over and kiss your partner when the vehicle stops and don't let it stop there!!! Bring back making out in the car and act like a teenager!!!

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Sweet Spot Nation ...again!

In 2015 we wrote about Sweet Spot Nation.  It's a burlesque show that we've been attending three to four times a year for several years now.  We've actually become friends with a couple of the performers and regular attenders, and admirers of the rest of them. What is a burlesque show? It's a variety show.  In this case it's a variety show that has a sexual theme to it. Our favorite shows are the ones that we have friends that go with us to these shows.  Ok, I'm pretty sure we scared off one of our couple friends forever, but the rest have all had a great time at the show.

The shows are adult shows, no doubt about it, but they are basically a live version of our blog.  What do I mean?  They talk about real issues, sometimes in a comical way.  Sometime seriously.  They dance, they read, they sing, they tell stories, they play games, they demonstrate those things you only read about in 50 Shades Of Gray, and at the end of the night we're all wound up and ready to jump in the sack.

This is one of the public places we go to be free, sexually free.  There are no judgements at the Sweet Spot.  It's about accepting your sexuality and having a great time.  The crowd is as diverse as they come, and the fact they came to town during Sexuary just made it that much better.

What about you? Have you looked to push your limits, go someplace a bit risque? Take your significant other and have a public forum to be adults in?  Go for it, The Sweet Spot is one of ours, and we hope you'll look into going to see them if they come to your town.

Dane

Sexuary 2019 - Flogging

There is a part of us that recognize pain as a pleasurable thing.  I think we've all experienced this at some time or another.  There are those who have learn, accepted, or maybe they are just wired a bit different, that find pain, a great deal of pain, as pleasurable.  In the tool bag of those who inflict pain are floggers.

We own 4 of them.

Over the last year we've played with the floggers more and more.  I was introduced to a Flogging for Therapy class that has changed how we look at floggers.

For those who haven't figured out, Jackie isn't exactly into pain, and until recently really didn't want any activity that would leave a welp or mark (ok, hickies excluded).   But the more and more we've played with the floggers the more and more she's enjoyed them.

Now we participate with a group at Renaissance Faire that keeps a St Andrews cross up and we flog for pain.  Yes, those who were coming through were wanting to be beaten.  They wanted welps.  They wanted to find where that pain threshold was at.  To be honest, some need to find a limit, and if the floggers didn't have more sense then they did a visit to the doctors would be needed.

But that's not what we do.  Our flogging is firm but not brutal.  A 15 minute session with a flogger or two is the same as an hour on the massage table.  I can walk up and down the from her shoulders to her thighs.  I'll spend extra attention on the fleshier areas.  In the end Jackie is extremely relaxed (there are times she'll sleep for up to 12 hours).  Some times she'll be tied up a bit, sometimes she'll just lean over the bed or up on the St Andrews cross and ask for me to flog her...NOW!  Who am I to turn her down?  

So it really is personal preference, but floggers don't have to be about welps and all painful.

Now what about the floggers?  Floggers have a couple of different features.  A couple of things you look for in a flogger?

1) The length of the tails.  We have from 12" - 24" tails on ours. The longer the tails the more snap you can get at the end.
2) The thud/sting factor.  This is based on several factors on the flogger but some people like more sting, some want more of a thud.  Jackie is more of a thudder.
3) The material it's made of.  Ok, this effects the 2nd one too..but some are softer (fur material, suede for example).  Some are firmer and definitely not soft. Good bull hide for example.
4)  Weight...I like a good mid weight flogger.  I've used ones that are to heavy and you can't get a good swing on them.  To light and you can't get a good pounding.
5) The handle is really the last of it.  Some are multipurpose like the Emperor Flogger I have on the left.  But the handle needs to be a good fit for your hand and something you can hold onto while you're swinging it.  You'll notice the 2 middle floggers are generally the same except the one handle is bigger.  I prefer the smaller handles.  But everyone is different, so try handles of different floggers as you see them.

Now the bonus.  Unpaid, unsolicited, we LOVE flogmebaby.com for a good flogger. It's not the same as a one handmade, but their prices are extremely reasonable.  We have a friend that makes floggers, even he was impressed with the quality, especially for the price.  So give them a look up and pick a flogger for your place.

Dane

Sexuary 2019 Backyard Bar-B-Que

Years ago the blog that got us to start Sexuary (www.welcometomybrain.net), and ultimately this blog, talked about a backyard bar-b-que.   Yeap, anal sex was the topic of the day.  Now it’s no secret that I love to be fisted.  I love things in my ass even.  But not everyone has that same burning passion (pun intended) to have their ass played with. 

The deal is I LOVE anal sex as much as I love receiving anal.  Jackie on the other hand is more so-so on it most of the time.  There are occasions over our time together she’s literally told me “fuck me in the ass NOW” and I being the loving partner that I am have obliged her. Who am I to tell her no to any request, especially a request like that?  But those request come pretty rare. And a day dedicated to anal play on Jackie is even rarer.  Those are Sexuary type days. 

So what are some of the things when it comes to anal sex for us? Well first of all we go through a lot of lube.  Nope, not enough, keep going and then add more just in case. You’ve almost got enough lube now.  A LOT of lube is require so that you don’t tear anything in there.  This isn’t a self-lubricating vagina.  And that means that my fingers are doing a lot of work before I ever enter her.  I’ll make sure not just 1 but a couple of fingers can comfortably slide in and out before I try to penetrate her.  This whole time we’re kissing or making out relaxing and getting her a bit built up. If your partner isn’t relaxed, this will never be enjoyable! 

So one of the other things Jackie likes is for us to get out one of her vibrators and she’ll play with it on her clit while I’m getting her ready.  This will help relax her and not think as much about the anal play about to happen.  Then and only then does the anticipated fun get to start. I love the feel of sliding in her ass.  Even though her vagina is extremely tight (will push me out often as she orgasms) it’s a very different feel and I’m sure the taboo and the fact it’s not every day makes it even more exciting for me. 

Now the other thing is most of the time I don’t cum right away.  And before we get to the full fledge bar-b-que I will try to be conscious and we will finish me off another way.  I want to get to visit that bar-b-que stand another day, and so don’t want to burn it to the ground. Seriously, I ask Jackie if she’s still ok often, and any hesitation I pull out and we go another route.  I get it, honestly the fisting is actually easier on the burning than the rubbing sensation for a fuck in your ass.  A hard dildo fuck on my ass will start to burn after a while, and I’ve never had that sensation with a fist in my ass.  So be considerate as to how long you’re in your partners ass.

Take aways? If you want to put some meat on the bar-b-que, make sure there is LOTs of bar-b-que sauce so it’s enjoyable for everyone, work up to it, and make sure you’re prepped a head of time, and then never over cook your meat in the pit.

Give it a try. Maybe you just play with your finger in your partners ass for a couple of days at first.  Maybe it won’t ever get there.  But if the stars align, there could be a tasty meal in your future!

Dane